Thursday, June 24, 2010

sadly grateful

if you've been reading for a while, you may remember that while i was pregnant with the bean, the hub took off on a 2-week trip to zimbabwe with a group from our church. it was a life-changing and eye-opening time for him, and while i missed him like mad, i knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience that he would carry with him for the rest of his life.

during the trip (and in the months of planning, preparation, and countless meetings prior), he'd gotten to know the rest of the group quite well. they leaned on each other for support and motivation, and became quite a tight-knit little family. we hosted a thanksgiving dinner for the whole group and their family members that year, which was a fantastic evening. they're all wonderful, beautiful, funny, and sweet, but as it so often does, life moves on and we've not seen them a whole lot lately.

but the last few weeks have brought some super sad news about one of the ladies' husbands. he'd been sick on and off since last november or so, and then, to add insult to injury, lost his job. on top of that, as if they didn't have enough to deal with, his doctors delivered another huge blow: the big "C." it's just terrible. this family is just so fantastic, and the handful of times i've spent with them have been so happy and cheerful. it's hard to believe that this could be happening to this man, who i always picture as incredibly strong, happy-go-lucky, jolly.

cancer - such an ugly word. and yet so horribly common - i'd be willing to bet that every single one of you has been touched by the awfulness of this disease in some way, whether it's a family member, a friend, a co-worker. maybe your loved ones have fought like hell and beat that bitch...or perhaps you've had to say goodbye. either way, there ain't nothing happy about cancer.

and this morning, we got word that the news from yesterday's surgery was the worst-case scenario. they got him in the operating room, went in to check things out, and discovered that the cancer had spread everywhere. there's literally nothing they can do to fix it. and they sent him home to be with his family and make him as comfortable as possible in anticipation of the inevitable.

i cannot even imagine what they must be going through right now. i know that the hub has been in touch with them, as have the ILs (who are in their weekly sunday school class). i've sent up countless prayers for them, and my heart just aches not only for what they're facing today, but for all that they'll be dealing with in the weeks and months ahead.

all this makes me just want to hold my family tight and never let go. it reinforces the fact that nothing is more important. no new phone, house, that pair of awesome shoes in the store window, none of the material crap in the whole world matters for shit when all is not right in one's world. it's sad when it takes something like this to hammer home how blessed we are, and yet i suppose it's kind of okay to be grateful for what we have as we grieve for others and share in their pain.

that is some effed-up shit though, man. for real.

15 comments:

  1. I'm sending prayers up for the family as well.

    I'll be hugging Man closer tonight, that's for sure. Between reading this blog today and the news about the big C on WW, I'm feeling it.

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  2. Our church has been doing a study on Ecclesiastes for the past couple of weeks and it's given me a new perspective on the things we have to go through in life. It's not the most optimistic book in the Bible but it talks about how this life is full of things that are happenstance, some good, some bad, but in the midst of all of it, there is a glimmer of hope for those who know God.

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  3. Hugs to you and I will pray for that family. It is truly heartbreaking.

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  4. More positive thoughts to that family - sometimes it's harder on those who aren't fighting the actual fight.

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  5. I am so sorry to hear that. I will say a prayer for them.

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  6. I am so sorry to hear that. I will say a prayer for them.

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  7. My heart aches for your friend. You are totally right that it makes you want to give your family a hug and never let go. My family went through something similar a few years ago--it certainly puts everything into perspective. Sending good thoughts and prayers to your friend and all his loved ones. **hugs**

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  8. This happened to my husband's mother.

    Very sad.

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  9. So sad. Their family will be in prayers.

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  10. That's what happened with my father -- there was nothing left to do.

    I'll never forget the moment he looked at me and asked, "Are we just waiting for me to die?"

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  11. this just happened to my stepdad, but in his case so far, miracles do happen. we are waiting to see how he reacts to the first rounds of chemo, but miraculously, his body recovered quickly from surgery and is fighting very well.

    empathy and prayers going their way.

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  12. UGGGH!! The "C" word! I am so overwhelmed with HATE for that word. It's been a constant in our lives for over 5 years now. First my husband beat Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2006, then my best friend lost her battle with Breast Cancer in 2008 and right now we are losing my FIL. Just got the devastating news a couple weeks ago. Nanette's comments made me want to cry because that's what Donny's dad has said. "Are we just waiting for me to go."

    My heart aches for every person that has been exposed to this and I pray that your friend's family finds peace. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless and losing someone you love so much. I am so sorry.....

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  13. I too just like all of the above detest the "C" word!! I've lost so many family members,friends and have read so many sad stories of what that horrible disease does!
    My heart aches for the family. my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who surrounds this wonderful man.

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  14. prayers for the family. so terrible!

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  15. Cancer - such an ugly bitch of a disease. :(

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