tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post6348956790694316431..comments2024-02-21T15:08:02.808-08:00Comments on wan life to live: reminiscing isn't always a good thingwanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13898341154510122057noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-37938651815322937612009-02-12T19:15:00.000-08:002009-02-12T19:15:00.000-08:00i can understand the heartache and the second thou...i can understand the heartache and the second thoughts, but i think you did the right thing. it's not easy. but i agree with eeryone else, you have a great relationship with the teen and you're very open with her. and, a lot of times people think domestic violence only happens to other people. it's a tough lesson, but one she'd learn eventually. . . i saw in your other post that things are all good, but i just wanted to reiterate that i never want to see a 'worst mom in the world' tag again, k? xoxoxowillikathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18290023050281646936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-69105308814593739832009-02-12T12:17:00.000-08:002009-02-12T12:17:00.000-08:00On the late bus here. What's new?No I don't think...On the late bus here. What's new?<BR/><BR/>No I don't think you effed up at all. I do know that it has changed her perspective of her father. No one wants to think that their parents could do any wrong. <BR/><BR/>I think it's great that you talked to the teen about that. I know I was in an awful relationship when I was young and didn't know that it's NOT okay. I think that it's great that those articles are now open for public education. <BR/><BR/>Physical and mental abuse has been going on for eons and letting other women know that they can walk away and that this is wrong. <BR/><BR/>In the end, you didn't eff up.Ceehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04323440924580464267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-84486619567713577462009-02-12T11:04:00.000-08:002009-02-12T11:04:00.000-08:00No, I think honesty is good. She is old enough to...No, I think honesty is good. She is old enough to be able to handle that information, and it may help her make good choices when she starts dating.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08840278504302363355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-90431701307243318172009-02-12T10:34:00.000-08:002009-02-12T10:34:00.000-08:00I think telling her might make her understand that...I think telling her might make her understand that you can't always predict who is going to cross the line and raise a hand. It also shows her that people who've made that mistake in the past can change and be better if they want to. Opening that door and sharing that experience gives her another area she can be honest with you about if it ever comes up. <BR/><BR/>As parents, we can't do everything right all the time. All we can do is be honest, loving, and available. Hopefully that will be enough. As teen R, I would have wanted my Mom to tell me if it had happened.Rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02999152197022534361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-54962273666984813302009-02-12T10:14:00.000-08:002009-02-12T10:14:00.000-08:00From the other side of the coin, you didn't do any...From the other side of the coin, you didn't do anything wrong. My mom used to tell me tons of stuff about her past and her relationship with my dad that in retrospect she probably shouldn't have. But I was able to understand where she was coming from and be objective about the situation - and I think the Teen is probably at least as mature as I was, if not more mature.That Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08004439474693190019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-91784046693323885982009-02-12T06:25:00.000-08:002009-02-12T06:25:00.000-08:00This serial plant killer here has no idea whether ...This serial plant killer here has no idea whether you did the right or wrong thing, but considering how strong and mature the teen is I can't imagine you doing much damage regardless :)<BR/><BR/>I kid. I kid.Winniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08102087490031989152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-18804334371769500802009-02-11T22:55:00.000-08:002009-02-11T22:55:00.000-08:00I can't really help all that much either. However,...I can't really help all that much either. However, I was shocked today when I was talking about it with someone at work and when I said I hoped C.B. gets what he deserves,<BR/>CW: I dunno, maybe she had it coming...<BR/>Me: ::blank stare::<BR/>CW: Like maybe she was cheating on him or something.<BR/>Me: So you break up with her, you don't wail on her.<BR/>CW: I dunno...<BR/>Me: ::walks away...::<BR/>If one good thing can come of this whole ordeal, it's that women become more of their own advocate and don't tolerate abuse whatsoever.delovelydetailshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04692504008352302998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-84515647462231599662009-02-11T20:34:00.000-08:002009-02-11T20:34:00.000-08:00Oops! Wrong Google ID above.Oops! Wrong Google ID above.Nanettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15378339600081931938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-5862436671174344722009-02-11T20:33:00.000-08:002009-02-11T20:33:00.000-08:00CartoonJess summed it up nicely.CartoonJess summed it up nicely.Nanettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16439586541201634020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-66214032311157746182009-02-11T20:16:00.000-08:002009-02-11T20:16:00.000-08:00I'm with the non-parent plant killers, here, but I...I'm with the non-parent plant killers, here, but I agree with the comment that honesty is never bad.Jessica Lovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01382996481558671385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-26000160625788117572009-02-11T19:18:00.000-08:002009-02-11T19:18:00.000-08:00I think it's important that you made sure she unde...I think it's important that you made sure she understood the seriousness of the situation. what she found out about her dad is just a truth that she'll have to process. All part of growing up, I guess!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-36731145942613069832009-02-11T19:08:00.000-08:002009-02-11T19:08:00.000-08:00I also don't think you effed up. You are such an ...I also don't think you effed up. You are such an incredible mother to both the teen and the bean, not to mention an amazing wifey to your hubby. Teenagers now are faced with much more junk than we were, for better or worse, so it's so important you have the relationship you have with her. I'm really glad you were open with her. It makes it that much more likely she'll come to you when something happens and she needs you. My opinion, for what it's worth...<BR/><BR/>Speaking of WeeMo's comment, I can't believe she gave him herpes...ick! I'm googling that now...alyssahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06490124234695709387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-26099857847138751432009-02-11T18:37:00.000-08:002009-02-11T18:37:00.000-08:00I dont think u effed up. I think that the teen is ...I dont think u effed up. I think that the teen is level headed enough to understand you were not trying to "slam" her dad or ruin their relationship. I agree with pp who said she was probably curious as to what went down between you two and well...its the truth. I think the WHOLE convo was the right thing, honestly.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11838135456681044637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-979997383230605972009-02-11T18:33:00.000-08:002009-02-11T18:33:00.000-08:00Im not a parent so what do I know but I think hone...Im not a parent so what do I know but I think honesty can never be a bad thing. I think it'd be good if you checked in again with her later. good luck!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12600725954753853049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-91990756949045283412009-02-11T18:29:00.000-08:002009-02-11T18:29:00.000-08:00hmmm, i don't think you effed up, I mean she's get...hmmm, i don't think you effed up, I mean she's getting older and you guys have such a good relationship, I think that obviously helps in the end. I also think she'll take your words to heart even more, and yes~ so glad you corrected her comment. NO one deserves that, ever.Mrs. Shorty Cakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06266759144285645146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-16814655285222808612009-02-11T18:28:00.000-08:002009-02-11T18:28:00.000-08:00I'm with venn on this one - I can barely keep a pl...I'm with venn on this one - I can barely keep a plant alive so I'm not going to say if you effed up or not.<BR/><BR/>hopefully you can talk to her againt to reiterate that you hope she would learn from what happened in your past.<BR/><BR/>or something like that. :/ssincahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15377888861971244001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-90169614620745900382009-02-11T18:19:00.000-08:002009-02-11T18:19:00.000-08:00i don't think you effed up. you guys have an open ...i don't think you effed up. you guys have an open and honest relationship and i think eventually this would have come up between you. i knew way more about my parent's relationship that maybe wanted to know at the time, but i think it also contributed to how close i felt to her. i knew i could go to her with anything, you know?<BR/><BR/>also, big thumbs up for correcting her first comment. and i'd feel the same way if the genders were reversed. it's never okay to hit/slap/punch someone. never.amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12029076436322883513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-17969884125310002482009-02-11T17:58:00.000-08:002009-02-11T17:58:00.000-08:00As someone who has dealt with DV in the context of...As someone who has dealt with DV in the context of prosecution, no, you did not fuck up at all. All too often victims are reluctant to testify or don't ever call the police until they are seriously injured, because no one has ever told them (or showed them) that it is not okay to be treated in such a way. <BR/><BR/>The teen is so lucky to have someone like you as a mom.Ann Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10781724384915508225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-54186644295376948202009-02-11T17:57:00.000-08:002009-02-11T17:57:00.000-08:00Hmm. Tough call.On a completely inappropriate and...Hmm. Tough call.<BR/><BR/>On a completely inappropriate and somewhat related note, the current rumor is that Rihanna gave Chris Brown herpes.<BR/><BR/>:s<BR/><BR/>Of course, that still doesn't warrant a beatdown.weezermonkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08023289768556784443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-61645016814099375492009-02-11T15:19:00.000-08:002009-02-11T15:19:00.000-08:00You didn't fuck up. The Teen is old enough to hea...You didn't fuck up. The Teen is old enough to hear both the good and bad about your relationship with her father. I am sure that somewhere in the back of her mind she is wondering what went wrong. That is normal for anyone whose parents are no longer together.<BR/><BR/>You are a fantastic mother and have done a phenominal job raising your girls. If anything, I think the Teen just added your experience with her father to the reasosns Wan is a badass list. Not only that, but you managed to convey your point with grace and, more importantly, without badmouthing her father. Furthermore, you were able to turn it around and make it a lesson for the Teen. I am sure if she has any reservations about your conversation she will tell you.Cartoonjesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06234514774634571045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-49169881001357744112009-02-11T13:08:00.000-08:002009-02-11T13:08:00.000-08:00I have no clue if you fucked up or not, but I am s...I have no clue if you fucked up or not, but I am so, so glad you talked to her about making the comment about what did R do to deserve it. A+Feminist Gold Diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08361358057377173279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-40806999173321004262009-02-11T12:56:00.000-08:002009-02-11T12:56:00.000-08:00i don't think you crossed the line at all...but i ...i don't think you crossed the line at all...but i do think you should re-visit the conversation again. perhaps point out that your relationship with her dad is completely different than hers with him.<BR/><BR/>oh...and i hear that Rihanna gave Chris Brown herpes who alledgedly got it from Jay-Z...hence the smackdown. not saying it's right...just sayin'<BR/><BR/>Dawndawn mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18191122097084504402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-38897614475952045452009-02-11T10:51:00.000-08:002009-02-11T10:51:00.000-08:00I don't think you crossed the line. You were bein...I don't think you crossed the line. You were being a good mom. You are educating her so she will never go through what you went through. I have never met you or your daughter. But from what I read on your blog, you guys have a great relationship. And she seems like a very smart girl. You did the right thing!Monkees_Meowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03194230423612154198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-750137054841847.post-12158169943664401182009-02-11T10:32:00.000-08:002009-02-11T10:32:00.000-08:00You and the Teen have such an honest and open rela...You and the Teen have such an honest and open relationship, it seems natural that you would eventually share with her your past experiences with her dad. At the same time, I would stress that people do have the capacity to grow, change and learn from their mistakes, which hopefully, your ex has done. <BR/><BR/>From what you've shared about the Teen, it sounds like she's very mature and level-headed for her age. But it might be good to check in with her and help her process your discussion and allow her to ask you questions if she wants.<BR/><BR/>But what the hell do I know. I can barely raise a plant.vennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06872956027319258433noreply@blogger.com