shot through the heart, and you're to blame

okay, so along with a zillion other people, i am a needlephobe. i don't like shots, blood draws, acupuncture, anything that requires getting poked with a needle. and i especially hate when i have to take one of my girls to the doctor to have any of the above done, because i'm a total wuss and usually end up crying just as much (if not more) than they do.

yesterday was no exception. i'd been dreading the bean's 2-year physical in a big way, because i knew that not only would she have at least two vaccinations, but would require a blood draw.

a freaking blood draw. for a two-year-old. how on earth was that going to happen? holy hell. and it wasn't like they could obtain it with a simple finger prick - they needed two effing vials of my baby's precious blood. oh mah gah.

i put off that appointment for as long as i possibly could, but when the hub got on my ass about it, i knew i had to make the call. and the day came far too quickly for my liking.

the bean had gone down earlier than usual for her afternoon nap, which was both good and bad - at least if she were cranky from being tired, she'd just get more grumpy with the visit and needle poking and just fall asleep in the car. oh, well. i managed to get her to take one of her dissolving tylenol tablets, while she held the other one in her hand on the way to the clinic.

kaiser's gone big, yo. i was impressed when i walked up to check her in at the receptionist's desk and found that they'd installed a check-in kiosk. i stuck her ID card in, touched the screen to answer a few questions, paid the copayment with my debit card, and got a receipt and confirmation of check-in within minutes. sweet.

we ended up waiting beyond her appointment time (of course), and while we sat in the waiting room, the bean watched tv - "jonas!" she pointed as the JB disney channel show came on. she chewed on her other tylenol tablet as we waited, and i hoped they would help ease the pain of the shots.

and you can laugh at me if you want, but i seriously felt weak from the moment we pulled into the parking lot. my heart was pounding, my joints felt like they were going to give out, there was a rushing sound in my head, and i thought for sure i was going to pass out. how great would that have been - me, laid out on the floor out cold. sheesh. the hub made fun of me as he always does, but i knew he was apprehensive about that blood draw, too. luckily, i held it together and kept a brave face on for the bean's benefit.

we were finally shown into an exam room, where the bean got to put on one of these cute little mini hospital gowns.

she caught sight of this, and i tried to distract her from it so that we could possibly use it later on, when she really needed to focus on something fun. unfortunately, we waited so freaking long for the doc to show up that we finally had to give in and sat her down to play with it.

it was weird not to have to use this thing to get her current weight anymore - instead, they'd had her remove her shoes and stand on a regular scale, just like grownups. yet another sign of my little bean growing up.

the doc finally showed up, and almost immediately, the bean began to whimper. she totally remembers what the sight of that woman means! damn. she wailed as the doctor checked all the usual stuff - eyes, ears, heart, tummy, legs. i felt so awful.

the hub and i worked together this time to help the bean get through her two shots - both in her upper left thigh - and as he held her close, i stroked her hair and we talked to her and told her how proud we were of what a good girl she was. she cried till she couldn't breathe, and my heart just broke - but i didn't cry. are you proud of me?

the stats:

height - 34.5", 55.7 percentile
weight - 28.1 lbs, 61.6 percentile
head - 19", 67.7 percentile

awesome. the bean is above average in all categories. hee! that's my girl.

after we held her for a bit and got her dressed, she got to pick from two lollipops i'd stuck in my purse for the occasion. she chose pink (of course!), and smiled through her tears. "better!" she said.

but it wasn't over. oh, no. not even close. the worst part was yet to come.

but she's a little trooper. yes, it was hard to watch. and of course, she bawled her head off the entire time. the hub held her close while i held her other hand and we repeated the routine that we'd just danced through in the exam room minutes ago. the nurse was super sympathetic and got through the process as quickly as she could, telling her how great she was doing and being as gentle as possible.

two vials of blood and a piece of cotton and sticky gauze later, i handed her back her lollipop. she accepted it with a watery smile and another proclamation of "better!" and the hub and i both slumped our shoulders in relief.

"owie," she said, holding her arm out for me to see.

in the car, she was upset when we had to take the lollipop again, but i managed to get her to trade it for my phone. she wasted no time in pushing the button, unlocking the phone, hitting the "iPod" button, and picking out a video to watch. this kid knows how to work my phone as well as i do.

we met up with the teen, who'd been picked up from school by MIL, and headed to coldstone to pick up a post-blood draw treat for the bean. well, and for the rest of us, too. heh.

i figured i deserved some "ice freeem" too, and happily dug into my mint/chocolate chips concoction. the teen sat at the table with me and worked on her homework as she ate her watermelon sorbet.

the bean sat in her chair with a bib and a little spoon, thoroughly enjoying every morsel of her sweet cream ice cream with m&ms mixed in. i turned on one of her videos on the computer, and she was one happy camper.

she survived the afternoon, and so did i. yay!

the bean STILL has a big ass nugget.

the bean's one-year checkup was this morning. and of course, knowing that needles were going to be a part of the routine, i was all nervous and stuff. the hub, of course, laughed at me as i hugged the bean close, as if to protect her from what was to come.

she thought it was great fun to rip up the paper that covered the table in the exam room. and i covered up her lady bits, 'cause you know...

this is kaiser's sad attempt at decorating those boring exam room walls.

before the doc arrived to check her out.

the stats:

she weighs 20.8 pounds, which puts her in 36% of growth percentile based on other kids her age. although the doc said this wasn't really anything to worry about - the average 1-year-old is only 21.8 pounds. big whoop. 1 pound. and she's 2'5", which is only 1 inch less than the average. this puts her in 39% of growth percentile for length. but again, she's got a big ass head - 64% of growth percentile. my kid's got a bigger-than-average nugget. shocker. hey, you've gotta have extra room for all that cuteness. heh.

somehow, i magically had to go to the bathroom as we were waiting for the nurse to come in and administer the FOUR shots the bean had to have today. i was actually prepared to wait it out, but the hub gave me an exasperated look and said "go. just GO." muahahahahaha.

that nurse must've been around the corner as i walked out, because i was just getting down to business when i heard the bean cry out. my heart just melted and i rushed through washing my hands and getting outta there, but as i opened the door, the hub was already walking out of the exam room, with tears rolling down the bean's face.

two in one arm, and one in each leg. ouch.

as the hub took off for work, the bean and i headed to target, which is just down the street. i strapped her in the carrier, and she drifted off blissfully into a nap as we walked through the store. and she looked so peaceful that i didn't want to move her into the car seat, so i put the bags in the car and headed towards the nail salon across the parking lot. whee! i was way overdue for a pedicure, and i sank happily into the chair and turned on the massage function.

the bean woke up as my toes were getting polished, and she was quiet and curious as she looked around at the smiling faces in the salon. i'm pretty lucky in that i can take her with me for things like that, and when she's in the carrier with the hood on, most folks hardly realize i've got a person strapped to me while being attended to. ha!

she got right back into climbing up onto the couch and torturing mollydog when we got home, so i think she's gonna be just fine. what shots?

oh - yesterday, we tried out a different class at gymboree. she's outgrown her current class level, but the classes in the next level up are all on bad days/times for us. boo. so when i saw this "multi-level" class, i decided to give it a shot.

it was full of older kids, with the one kid closest to her age still 4 months ahead. boo. she was pretty overwhelmed at the rambunctiousness and activity of the class, so we won't be going back. but she got a stamp on her hand at the end of the class, which she found...well, i'll let this picture tell you what she thought of it.

i'm looking forward to the weekend - fun at the choc walk with the teen, the bean's first haircut, and our photo shoot with crissy! i can't wait. it's going to be a jam-packed couple of days, and that's okay. bring it on!

he needs a kick in the face!

so i took the teen for the dreaded physical on monday. yikes. and yes, i was just as nervous as she was about it, but i tried my hardest not to let it show. i knew that before we left the building, she'd have had a needle poked into her at least four, maybe five times. and as rough & tough & stuff as the teen can be, she really is still my little girl on the inside.

the first part was pretty typical and painless - just height, weight, blood pressure. we'd both been given questionnaires to answer prior to seeing the doctor, which made us laugh. we compared them and found all sorts of questions that really aren't funny, but because she's so far from depressed/angry/suffering from an eating disorder/introverted/etc., we giggled through them. although i must say, i wanted to hurl when i saw one of her questions:

have you participated in sexual activity (oral, anal, vaginal intercourse)?

[dry heaving]

the nurse looked at her chart and remarked "oooh, somebody's getting some shots today! hahahaha!" and then handed her a gown to put on and left. the teen totally maddogged him as he left and told me "mom, i want to kick him in the face." i couldn't blame her - he was an asshole.

so although i have all the same parts (and she was only getting down to her underwear, so it was like having a bathing suit on), i was sternly instructed to "turn around, mom, i'm getting naked!" oy.

the physical itself was pretty standard, with the doctor asking her questions about her diet, level of activity, etc. - stuff she would have learned had she actually looked at that damn questionnaire - and told the teen that she needed to eat healthier and get more exercise. she already knew this based on those standard check-ups they do in p.e. at the beginning of the year, so this only reinforced what she'd already learned.

and when that jerkface nurse returned, he was carrying a tray loaded down with four separate syringes full of vaccinations. i could damn near feel the teen's anxiety as she sat there, and when he started swabbing her arm down with an alcohol-soaked pad, she looked frantically at me. i got up and held her other hand, turned her head towards me, and tried to talk to her to get her focus away from what was happening.

and she took it like a champ - even though i could see what she was going through in her eyes, i couldn't tell when the needle pricked her skin (except for the tetanus shot, during which she uttered an angry growl). she ended up with two shots in each arm, and then it was over.

we stopped at the grocery store to stock up on fresh produce, and picked up all of her favorite things - apples to spread with peanut butter, strawberries, grapes with cheese, and the makings for a nice spinach salad for dinner.

it turned out so delicious - fresh baby spinach leaves, crumbled bleu cheese, candied pecans, and tossed with bacon bits (i actually cooked the bacon rather than go my usual route of buying precooked bacon - yes, i am that lazy) and a recipe for homemade dressing i found on the fabulous internet. i wish i'd taken a picture of it when it was ready, because it was purrrty.

last night, i made wedge salads, although i forgot to buy tomatoes to dice for the top. oh, well. and again, i cooked chopped bacon for it. mmm! i served it with these yummy crescent rounds that look like boobs.

and while the teen and the hub are eating healthier, i've been having this for breakfast (and one lunch):

oh, well. hee!

lastly, the teen left for school today wearing this to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11:

i can't believe it's been seven years since that day. do you remember where you were when you heard the news?