an open letter to my firstborn

my dearest, most incredibly awesome daughter,

i don't think the words exist yet that describe how much i love you. from the very moment you were born, i took one look at that wrinkly, wiggly itty bitty bit of a thing and knew that there was pretty much nothing i wouldn't do for you.

not much has changed. well, you aren't wrinkly or itty bitty anymore, but i am still (and will forever be) your biggest champion. we've been through some struggles together and i'm pretty sure there have been times that you just wanted to tune me out, plug your ears and go "LALALALALALALA," but we just power through and come out even stronger in the end. 

watching you go from infant to toddler to preschooler to "the kid" and then "the teen" has been such an honor and a privilege.  life with you is never dull, my dear. and i wouldn't have it any other way.  also, what the hell am i gonna call you here when you aren't a teen anymore?  hmmmm.

i'm grateful to you for teaching me so many things. with you, i learned how to be a mother - from the basics like feeding and diapering to figuring out how to discuss sex and drugs and boys and then how to deal with the fact that you're more like your mother than we ever realized (sorry 'bout that). being your mom has taught me how to walk that fine line between parent and friend, when to push and when to back off. with you, i also figured out that it's okay to have the most carefully-laid plans go slightly awry. 

i still can't get over the fact that you're an adult now. you're a high school graduate! holy shit. where did the years go? it seems like just yesterday that you headed off to class for your very first day of kindergarten. 

and now look at you!

it is going to be so much fun watching you step out into the world and try your hand at whatever catches your attention. there's so much out there for you to see and do and learn, and guess what?  it's okay to make mistakes. really. just hold your head up and keep on keepin' on.  and we will always, always be here for you.  now remember:

you is kind

you is smart

you is important 

come on, you didn't think i was gonna be able to keep this 100% cheese-free, did you? i sure hope you know me better than that by now. pshh. 

love always and forever,

mom <3 nbsp="">

so, this happened

i'm still processing, guys. so emotional. 

be back tomorrow. 
 

this i prom-ise you

what's the most important night of your high school years, aside from graduation?

prom!

i still can't believe that my firstborn has now experienced this oh-so-important rite of passage.  and looked far more fabulous than i ever have.  we'd shopped early for her dress and found it on the first try, thanks to a tip from lilcee.  she had all of her beauty appointments lined up and all of her accessories purchased way in advance, and even found herself taking charge of coordinating the party bus for their group of 36.

you want details?  i got details!

corset back and gorgeous hair.

sparkly shoes and holographic nail polished toes.

lush eyelash extensions, with a few pink highlights to match her dress.

earrings courtesy of stella & dot.

put it all together, and you get this phenomenal promtastic package:

cousin seven showed up to see her off and get a few pictures.

the bean was oh, so proud of her beautiful sister.

she's got mad love for the teen's friend, meow.

the teen's prom date was meow's brother.

corsage!

with 36 excited seniors, plus parents and other various family members armed with everything from phone cameras to full-on professional DSLRs, there was a whole lot of picture taking.  the bean entertained herself as best she could.

my babies!

the group gathered in the backyard for more photos.

back out front, someone had already grown weary of their high heels.

and i couldn't help but laugh at this.

at last, the bus arrived.

the bean and the hub had disappeared by then, but the car was still there.  this was explained the moment the bus doors opened:

before they could board the bus, each person had to sign a waiver that basically held them to a "no alcohol or drugs" promise.  and then there was a little snafu with the sound system as the cable to connect the iPod with the party playlist was on the fritz.  but the problem ironed itself out, and the group was finally on its way.  the bean looked on sadly as the bus pulled away and headed off to the high school, where the professional photos were being taken.

no worries, little girl.  it'll be your turn soon enough.

senior citizen

a couple of days ago, the teen and i headed over to her school for - get this - her senior portrait session.

yup.

now, since i didn't have a senior year of high school, i'm totally living vicariously through her.  therefore, i'm always willing to tag along to whatever she deigns me worthy of joining in on.  i was actually surprised she wanted me here, until rock-ell told me that her mom went with her for her session, too.  and when we walked into the room that the photographers were set up in, i saw that most kids had a parent with them as well.  it occurred to me that i wasn't really as special as i like to think i am, but brushed that terrible thought aside and went back to being awesome.

the guidelines for attire were pretty strict - no sleeveless, tank tops, spaghetti straps, tube tops, loud prints or colors.  and yet they welcomed props - musical instruments, varsity jackets, pets.  i tried my hardest to get the teen to take a picture with the mollydog - both in cap & gown - but she refused.  can you believe that shit?  the boys' rules were just as rigid, requiring a dress shirt with coat & tie.  it was funny to watch them walk in dressed to the nines from the waist up, but with shorts and flip-flops.

despite running about ten minutes late for our appointment, we ended up waiting about that long for her turn.  i was just glad our tardiness didn't result in a rescheduled shoot.  best to get it over with, i thought.  and when they called her name, i tagged along and sat at a desk in the corner behind the tripod.

did i take pictures?  um, duh.  is the pope catholic?  and true to form, are they terribly blurry and bad?  duh x 2.

the photographer started off mildly amused at our antics and giggles and silly jokes, but wasn't thrilled to see that i was snapping away with my phone.  you know what, buddy?  i just handed your ass $80 just to take these pictures.  i'm gonna end up tossing more cash your way once the proofs are in and i want actual prints.  it's not like these shitty shots i got will replace the formal portraits you'll be holding hostage for what i'm sure will cost me an arm and a leg.  his only redeeming quality?  the ever-popular "are you guys sisters?"

as i teased her from my corner, the teen stood awkwardly in those contrived poses while the photographer dude arranged her hair to his liking.

here's what i've dubbed her "showgirl" pose.  not to be confused with the movie "showgirls" - hell to the naw.

class of 2013, holla!

while she disappeared behind the backdrop to don a cap & gown, i gave myself a little internal pep talk to keep from tearing up at the sight of my little girl all dressed up for high school graduation.  she'd given me fair warning that weeping would be completely unacceptable.  plus, i may have participated in the giggling at the sight of other moms who'd been so overcome at their pweshus wittle babies in the traditional graduation ensemble.  so i held it together and ended up cracking up like mad as she reappeared in all her scarlet glory.

you knew i was gonna do this.  hey, at least it's not my stupid face.

one last shot, and she was done.  "word," i called out as she followed the directions and struck this super lame ass pose.

two long weeks, and we'll get the proofs.  knowing her, she'll hate the majority of them.  and knowing me, i'll want multiple copies of every single shot.

whatever.  it'll work out one way or another.

senioritis

as of wednesday at about 10am, the teen is officially a high school senior!  woohoo!  go class of 2013!

scary shit, ain't it?  heh.  but exciting too, and she was visibly relieved to have her finals over and done with.  now she can enjoy a summer of fun before starting her final year of high school.  well, and get through the admissions process for FIDM.  we've got a lot of work to do there.

and so to celebrate her senior...ness, you'll never guess where we spent the day yesterday!  yup...the happiest place on earth.  but this time, we decided to do it a little differently - we vowed to do stuff that we either never do or haven't done together in a long time.

first:  dumbo the flying elephant ride.  this we often skip mostly because the line is always so stinking long.  but as we learned yesterday, it may look bad from the outside, but once you're in there it actually goes pretty fast.

did you know that there's a petting zoo at disneyland?  it's tucked way back between frontierland and fantasyland.

from there, we headed over to ride one of the steam-powered riverboats.  the bean had zero interest in riding the "pirate ship," so we hopped onto the mark twain instead.

since we'd seen a group having fun paddling away on one of the canoes, that was our next ride.  i could swear that i'd never actually done this before.  maybe once, when i was really little, but i don't remember.

after a mini-meltdown in one of the shops (the bean falls in love with a new stuffed toy every time we go, and i've vowed not to give in every time), we managed to bribe her with a treat out on main street.  we munched on our cold treat while sitting on the curb waiting for the parade - another thing we pretty much never do.

tomorrowland was the next stop, where we played in the buzz lightyear ride.  afterwards, we decided to check out the "innoventions" building, which used to house the "america sings" show.  i remembered watching that way back when i was a wee one.  it was hilarious watching the teen get all discombobulated when she realized that as we walked around the exhibits in the center of the building, the outer section rotated around us.

you know, back when that show still performed throughout the day, one of the cast members was crushed to death when she found herself trapped between a rotating wall and a stationary one.  she stepped a little too far back and no one realized what had happened until a guest reported hearing screams from behind the stage.  creepy, huh?

innoventions consists of a bunch of interactive games and displays, as well as a stage show that showcases honda's "asimo" robot.  it was cheesy and cute, and we loved it.

 
the lower level of innoventions consists of what they call the "house of tomorrow."  it's set up like a fabulous family home, complete with every gadget and computerized gizmo you can imagine.  we all loved the girl's room, where the mirror reflected an image of you standing there in front of the webcam.  it served as a touchscreen computer, where you could pull up weather, music, calendar, and other fun stuff.

we enjoyed dinner in a quick-service restaurant at the end of main street, which we'd never tried before.  you know, to continue the theme of the day.  and it was so good i didn't even get to take pictures of what we had - grilled cheese with tomato-basil soup, mac & cheese, ham & cheese quiche.  yummy.

the bean, who hadn't napped all day, was spent.  she passed out cold before we even got out of the parking structure.  awesome.

and just think, this is only the beginning of what promises to be a splendid summer!