senior citizen

a couple of days ago, the teen and i headed over to her school for - get this - her senior portrait session.

yup.

now, since i didn't have a senior year of high school, i'm totally living vicariously through her.  therefore, i'm always willing to tag along to whatever she deigns me worthy of joining in on.  i was actually surprised she wanted me here, until rock-ell told me that her mom went with her for her session, too.  and when we walked into the room that the photographers were set up in, i saw that most kids had a parent with them as well.  it occurred to me that i wasn't really as special as i like to think i am, but brushed that terrible thought aside and went back to being awesome.

the guidelines for attire were pretty strict - no sleeveless, tank tops, spaghetti straps, tube tops, loud prints or colors.  and yet they welcomed props - musical instruments, varsity jackets, pets.  i tried my hardest to get the teen to take a picture with the mollydog - both in cap & gown - but she refused.  can you believe that shit?  the boys' rules were just as rigid, requiring a dress shirt with coat & tie.  it was funny to watch them walk in dressed to the nines from the waist up, but with shorts and flip-flops.

despite running about ten minutes late for our appointment, we ended up waiting about that long for her turn.  i was just glad our tardiness didn't result in a rescheduled shoot.  best to get it over with, i thought.  and when they called her name, i tagged along and sat at a desk in the corner behind the tripod.

did i take pictures?  um, duh.  is the pope catholic?  and true to form, are they terribly blurry and bad?  duh x 2.

the photographer started off mildly amused at our antics and giggles and silly jokes, but wasn't thrilled to see that i was snapping away with my phone.  you know what, buddy?  i just handed your ass $80 just to take these pictures.  i'm gonna end up tossing more cash your way once the proofs are in and i want actual prints.  it's not like these shitty shots i got will replace the formal portraits you'll be holding hostage for what i'm sure will cost me an arm and a leg.  his only redeeming quality?  the ever-popular "are you guys sisters?"

as i teased her from my corner, the teen stood awkwardly in those contrived poses while the photographer dude arranged her hair to his liking.

here's what i've dubbed her "showgirl" pose.  not to be confused with the movie "showgirls" - hell to the naw.

class of 2013, holla!

while she disappeared behind the backdrop to don a cap & gown, i gave myself a little internal pep talk to keep from tearing up at the sight of my little girl all dressed up for high school graduation.  she'd given me fair warning that weeping would be completely unacceptable.  plus, i may have participated in the giggling at the sight of other moms who'd been so overcome at their pweshus wittle babies in the traditional graduation ensemble.  so i held it together and ended up cracking up like mad as she reappeared in all her scarlet glory.

you knew i was gonna do this.  hey, at least it's not my stupid face.

one last shot, and she was done.  "word," i called out as she followed the directions and struck this super lame ass pose.

two long weeks, and we'll get the proofs.  knowing her, she'll hate the majority of them.  and knowing me, i'll want multiple copies of every single shot.

whatever.  it'll work out one way or another.

li'l dancing bugs

full dress rehearsal with a bunch of 4-year-olds is hilarious.  especially this one:

the performance was held at a local high school auditorium.  and it was quite a venue - ornate and beautiful and full of history.  part of a school that began in the 1800s, it was built in the late 1930s and featured everything from high school plays to the original von trapp singers and even served as an army base during the war.  bob hope and the desi arnaz orchestra played here, and so did the los angeles philharmonic.  pretty cool, i thought - despite the lack of a/c inside.  in late june.  yeah.

actually, during the dress rehearsal it was pretty comfortable in there.  granted, there weren't a gazillion folks inside and the temperature that day was in the high 80s.

off to the side of the stage was a small classroom that probably houses the band or chorus during the school year.  that's where the bean's class and the other younger dancers had their dressing room.  she and her friends had a ball playing in there while we waited for them to be called to the stage.  check out the li'l bugs in full costume and make-up:

as their turn approached, we headed into the auditorium and took a seat to watch the older girls perform on the stage.

i guess it's pretty normal for these things to run super behind schedule, as they fine-tune stage placement, lighting, music, and all that jazz.  the kids didn't give a shit and had fun bouncing in their seats and giggling together while we moms stood around tapping feet and checking watches.  heh.

finally, it was time.

do you have any idea how comical it is to watch a group of little dancers onstage together for the very first time?  they're trying desperately to remember their steps, watching each other and their teacher, standing just offstage doing the dance for them, and keeping one eye out in the audience to make sure mom's watching.  and of course, we are - lined up all along the front of the stage, cameras clicking away, and maaaaaaaybe wiping away a tear or two.  what?

lemme tell you, it's a damn good thing i got those shots - because when it was showtime for real, ain't no way i was getting this close to that stage.

the next day, we had to make sure we got to the venue on time.  since it was the one and only performance, it was gonna run on schedule for sure, and we actually arrived a little earlier than needed. and like the day before, the girls just had fun hanging out, snacking, coloring, and enduring more photo shoots.

i actually got into the auditorium just once - during intermission, when i went out to fulfill my duties at the snack bar.  luckily for me, they had more help than they needed and i was able to head over to our seats and say hello to my family.

oh - despite the odd "li'l bugs" that the bean was part of, the actual theme of the show was "wizard of oz."

when i headed back into the dressing room, their dance teacher was handing out these super cute cupcakes she'd made earlier that morning.

i don't really have any good photos of the bean and co. onstage in front of the audience.  i was, however, just beyond the curtain with the other moms, grinning proudly from ear to ear and snapping away as much as i could.  the photos i got are all blurry (like you expected anything else), but here's the bean as she exited the stage triumphantly.  and yes, the dance went just as it did during rehearsal - a hot ass mess - but because they're still so little, that added to the awesomeness of it all.

also completely predictable:  the tears that flowed down my face as i watched.  heh.

since their number was near the end of the show, we all decided to keep the girls in costume so they could join the rest of the company onstage for the grand finale.  each kid was handed a balloon and grouped together in ROYGBV order.

she was so enchanted by her balloon, tugging on it, smacking it and watching it pop back up, and otherwise just not leaving the damn thing alone - and as soon as i turned away for a second, it became untied and floated right up to the ceiling.  eff, man.  and she was so stinking sad as she watched it fly up and out of reach.  of course, there weren't any extras and she had to settle for holding her friend's hand to "share" a balloon for the walk through the auditorium and up to the stage.

i took a bunch of these shots from way at the back before i realized it was futile.  no way in hell can you see where she is in this mess, even though she's right at the front of the group.  and you can see that the whole rainbow theme just fell to pieces.  it was...uh, slightly unorganized.

let me tell you, it is such a freaking relief to have this shit over and done with.  they've been prepping since - oh, probably february.  and over the last month, it's been a total time-suck and rather stressful.  but it wasn't without its benefits - the girls got a lot closer, and so did their moms.  it was really nice to get to know them better and to have each other to lean on when we needed to vent or roll eyes or just do a little old-fashioned bitchin' and moanin' over it all.

and guess what?  in a few weeks, preparations will begin for the dance studio's annual holiday "nutcracker" performance.  and this year, i think the bean and her cohorts are actually old enough to take part in it.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

wait, what just happened here?

okay, i have the dance recital extravaganza to cover.  tomorrow.  i'll do it tomorrow.

because right now i need to work through my feelings about the bean and the e-mail i got notifying me that she's been accepted into a transitional kindergarten class...starting in two months.  see how excited she is about it?

of course, she has NO idea as to what's in store for her.  heh.

let me rewind a couple of weeks here.  while chatting with her preschool BFF's mom during the kids' "spring sing" performance, i asked her if BFF was going to do another year of preschool or start kindergarten in the fall.  as she answered (it was the latter), she asked me if we'd considered putting the bean into a new program that was somewhere between pre-K (which is what she's in now) and kindergarten.  i knew nothing about it, so as soon as the program was over i headed right over to the office to get more information.

but because the staff and teachers in there were a little overwhelmed with all of the end-of-the-year activities, i was directed to check out the school website to get more information and complete an application.  hey, whatever.  i'm good with doing my own research at my leisure anyway.  so as soon as the bean was down for her nap, i talked to the hub and checked it out.  he agreed that it seemed like a better idea than repeating the year she just finished up, so i completed the application and submitted it online.

before i knew it, i was filling out an evaluation form and making an appointment to have her tested by a third-party company.  apparently, they'd been at the school a couple of months ago to test out a whole crop of kids who were going through the enrollment process and we totally missed the boat.  see, we'd already decided that the bean, while meeting the age requirement for kindergarten, wasn't quite ready for the big leagues yet and would wait one more year to start elementary school.  her teacher had actually recommended this on her progress report.  and so when the parents' meeting about kindergarten had been announced, i brushed it off knowing that we had another year before we had to worry about any of it.  and of course, that's when the transitional program was introduced.  bah.

so one morning last week found us sitting in the car, headed down to orange county for a 9am testing appointment.  we got there right on time and the bean was welcomed into the office by a super friendly lady who probably has a few grandchildren of her own, or maybe did some teaching back in the day.  she seemed comfortable with the lady right away and followed her into another office while i sat outside in the waiting room.

with the door open, i spent the next half hour alternating between listening intently at what was happening in there and catching up on social media via my phone.  the lady did most of the talking - the bean is pretty quiet and soft-spoken, especially in out-of-the-ordinary situations.  first, it was "can you draw me a picture of a person?" and "cut out this circle along the dotted line."  then they moved on to stuff like drawing a straight line, pointing out the things that don't belong, filling in the missing part of a face, matching words, building with blocks, and memory games.  the last part was physical - balancing on one foot, showing left and right hands/feet/arms/etc., hopping on one foot, walking backwards.  she seemed to do really well through the whole thing.

as we started the trek back home, she told me all about the games she'd played.  "it was fun, mommy," she said as she munched on a snack.  while i listened to her explain in full detail what they'd done, my mind raced ahead to a stop we could make at an asian bakery i've been wanting to try for ages.  it was on the way home, and we had just enough time to make the pitstop and still get back on time for gymnastics class.

while i sipped on my iced sea salt coffee (sounds weird, i know, but OH EM GEE SO GOOD), she dug into the egg tart i'd picked up for her.

sorry, that was way off-topic.  anyway, the lady had told me that we could expect results to be faxed over to the school by the next morning.  i knew the clock was a-tickin', with only a few spots left in the class before we'd be totally assed out.  so after i picked her up from summer school yesterday, i was about to pick up the phone to call the school when i clicked on my gmail and saw it:  the e-mail that began with "we are pleased to welcome..."

holy shit.

the bean, my last baby, the little girl who's grown up so stinking fast, is officially done with preschool.  this tiny person who's brought us all so much joy and laughter and happiness is about to embark on a whole new adventure, and i honestly don't know how to feel about it all.  on one hand, i'm super excited for what's to come - honing those skills, continuing with her education, getting a good start on what her sister's on the brink of finishing.  and then i'm filled with sadness as i think of how the time we get to spend together every day is shrinking.  come august 22nd, she's going to be in school for twice the length of time as before.  and she'll be there five days a week instead of just MWF.  no more fun tuesday mornings at disneyland, sleeping in on thursday mornings, random trips to the park.  and what about her afternoon naps?  being in school till 2:30 will either wipe those out completely, or shift her naptime to an hour when she's usually getting up. we've got just two short months of freedom, and then reality will set in...hard.  and we'll join the ranks of those families who have to schedule every vacation and appointment around the school calendar.

i know.  i KNOW this is a good thing.  she's going to gain more independence, meet new friends, learn new things.  i'll be able to get more done around the house (because let's face it, the three hours she's in school now is nothing), or maybe even get a part-time job.  and we'll settle into a routine that we're going to be following for years to come.

but oh, how my heart aches at all of these changes.  it's all happening too quickly, and the time has gone by in the blink of an eye.  i mean, it wasn't that long ago that we were waving goodbye on her first day of preschool.  and all of a sudden, we're getting ready to buy her first set of school uniforms and pack her first lunch box.  what?  can't we just go back to the days when i got to snuggle her in a baby carrier for hours on end?  i want to turn the clock backwards and keep her little for just a while longer.  honestly, i don't know if i can handle all of this and let go.

although we all know i will.  because i have to.  just like all of the other changes we've dealt with, we'll sail through this transition with flying colors and everything will be fine.  we'll keep laughing through every day, and my heart, uh...will go on.

do you have the song stuck in your head?  i do, but at least i'm smiling through the tears now.

wiggin' out

oh mah gah, this weekend was a whirlwind of craziness.  for real, yo.

friday's costume check and run-through was out of freaking control.  we arrived at our call time only to find out that they were running at least an hour behind.  the other moms and i huddled in the corner, bitching and moaning about the inconvenience and how annoying it was to stand around trying to keep a bunch of 4-year-olds entertained.  after a while, we learned that it wasn't a mandatory thing and decided to get the hell outta dodge.

but the experience wasn't completely a waste of my time.  as we chatted, another mom came by with her daughter, who was also in the bean's dance number for the recital.  she had these perfect curls that totally fit the bill for how we'd been asked to do the girls' hair - high ponytail, all spiral-curled and sprayed to "toddlers & tiaras"-style perfection.  when we ooh'ed and aah'ed over it, the mom grinned and plucked the whole crop of curls right off of her kid's head.  for $25, she'd eliminated the headache and time it'd take to get the hair just right and the 'do was done in about 3 minutes flat.

after a quick call to the dance supply store to confirm that they still had the hairpieces in stock (and in the right color), i bundled the bean into the car and hightailed it right down there before they closed for the day.  since i'd been ready to spend $25 on a curling iron and super duper strength hair spray anyway, i was more than happy to plunk it down on something that would lower my stress level immensely.

the next morning, after taking the bean to pick out her own make-up for the stage, i turned on a movie for her to watch and got down to business.  first, i brushed all the tangles out of her mane - it's gotten so long.

using some detangler spray, i scraped it all back into a high ponytail.

and then with the help of a little gadget i'd also picked up at the dance store, i had an almost perfect ballerina-style bun in about 30 seconds.

next, i carefully plucked the curly hairpiece out of the bag.  "i have a wig!" the bean squealed with glee.

it seriously took about 4 seconds to get it in place.  voila:

i think the bean is the only girly-girl i know who didn't really have any interest in make-up.  she watches me and her sister put it on every day, but i don't think she's ever asked to play with it or put any of it on herself.  she's played with her grandma's make-up once or twice, but that's about it.  and so i had to actually talk her into letting me put some on.  here's what i was able to get away with:

i decided to tackle the most difficult item out of the three.  i tried to show her the difference between the eye i used it on and the unmade-up one, but she glanced in the mirror and said "i don't see a thing."  see how excited she was about it?

then i brushed on some of that bright pink blush and stroked a bit of that super red lipstick on her tiny pout.

as she gazed in the mirror, the bean gave her appearance a special stamp of approval.

oh crap.  i gotta remember to clean the kiss mark off of that mirror.