no pictures for you!

the kid, the bean and i braved the crowds at the mall today to take some portraits at the picture people. normally, i'm not all about the whole posed-in-a-studio-at-the-mall thing, but this place is relatively cheap and the pictures are done in an hour.

the kid assured me (from previous experience with her dad) that we didn't need an appointment. well, i forgot to take into consideration that we were 1. going on a friday, 2. it's the holiday season, and 3. since when did i take information from a 12-year-old without double-checking it? okay, actually, i called just before we left the house and the girl said "we do recommend making an appointment." so i said "oh, then i need an appointment for this afternoon." and of course, the reply was "we're all booked for the rest of the day."

fine, whatever. we still had to go the mall to shop for the kid's BFF, and i figured i'd see if they could squeeze us in as a walk-in. right? right?

wrong. let's just say we'll be heading back to the damn mall next week. wednesday at 3pm, to be precise. damn. i considered going to the janky portrait studio at the other end of the mall (you know, the kind where the "photographers" are high school kids, you get 28357089437 copies of the picture for about $25, and the "poses" are all slightly whorish) for about two seconds before i came to my senses. besides, the whole purpose of the portraits was to make a nice frame for the hub to put at his desk of his "three girls". the janky ass high school pictures simply wouldn't do.

and now i'm going to get started on decorating. the SFAMily's holiday hoorah 2007 is at our house on sunday, and all i've got so far is a wreath on our door and a naked christmas tree. there's a pile of wrapped presents sitting in a corner, and i so want the house to be warm and inviting. wish me luck.

lurker friends!

thanks so much to everyone who took the time to read yesterday's long, emotional, hot ass mess of a post ;) i don't know what came over me - y'all know i'm not usually such a debby downer.

but as a few of you pointed out, YAY for the lurkers! de-lurking is de-lovely. i knew i had a handful of regular readers, and from the traffic on the site, i could see that others were reading too. so it was really fabulous to read such nice, supportive words from folks who hadn't commented before, or don't do so on a regular basis.

and i do truly appreciate hearing from you all - especially those who have stories similar to mine. as trish pointed out, it IS nice to know that i'm not some freak who's alone in my situation. no, i'm just a freak. ha!

and if you're a lurker who hasn't had a chance to comment, i'd love to hear from you - even if it's just a "hi" or "you're a nut". well, okay, maybe i would prefer something positive. :)

daddy dearest. not.

during one of our 7868905674 trips to paper source this weekend, i found this adorable book to document the bean's babyhood: it's got pages like "how mom and dad met", "how we picked your name", spots for shower invitations and birth announcements, fun stuff like that. i'm trying to figure out how to accomplish the foot and handprints without making a major mess. heh.

anyway, looking through the book reminded me of my own baby book, which i used to love perusing when i was just a wee wan. sadly, it's lost forever - left behind when my mom and i moved out of the house that we lived in with my dad. and these thoughts brought me back to a time when i still had a dad.

my buddies monkey, nanette, and tater have all posted lovely entries about their own dads recently. two have sadly lost theirs, and one is building a stronger, more loving relationship with her father. and me? i don't even know where my dad is.

watching the hub with the bean and the kid, i'm reminded of how my dad used to love me. for the first twelve years of my life, he was there every day, to hug me and make jokes and cook wonderful meals and even discipline and punish me when i did wrong - which happened pretty regularly. hey, i was a kid. but i loved my dad so much and thought he was the greatest - so much so that i'd convinced myself that i was going to live with him when he and my mom decided to separate. i never thought i'd be one of those "divorced kids", but life happens, and after going through it myself, i can totally understand how that can come to be.

but then i saw the hurt in my mom's eyes, and i knew there was no way i could let her move out alone. so i dutifully packed my stuff and went with my mom to our new life.

and in those early weeks and months of the separation, i saw my dad pretty regularly - like every weekend, and even during the week whenever we could squeeze it in. i'd even take the bus for the 20-mile trip after school so i could be there when he got home from work, so we could have dinner together, and then he'd take me back home. we'd go shopping - he was a MAJOR shopaholic, so now you know where i get that from - and we'd walk the mall arm-in-arm. but not in a freaky, creepy way. not like this girl i saw at mimi's cafe a couple of weeks ago, who sat in her dad's lap and was very touchy-feely. FIL and i watched in bemusement (and slight disgust), as he would hold her close and she would stroke his cheek. there's loving your dad, and then there's loving your dad. it was gross and just looked wrong. but i digress.

dad still had close family in the homeland, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to take off and visit them for a couple of weeks at a time. i missed him, but he always brought back all sorts of great hello kitty stuff and snacks for me. and you know i love me some snacks. hee!

then when he returned home from one of those visits, he was...different. happier. excited about life. and it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened - he met someone. a very young and pretty someone. someone who was quite excited about the prospect of coming to the states to see what kind of life she could have. *cough*golddigger!*cough*

and it wasn't long before he was headed back again - this time to marry this girl and bring her home. he was 42, she was 24 - they thought that was just. so. cute. [retching] even at 12, i thought this was gross. but i tried to keep an open mind, and looked forward to the day i could finally meet the woman who had captured my dad's heart and put that twinkle in his eye.

and at first, she was cool. hell, she wasn't much older than i was! we'd giggle over tv shows and sneak all sorts of stuff into the shopping carts when my dad wasn't looking and even hold hands while we strolled the mall. i thought she was fun and pretty, and didn't even notice when the visits became fewer and farther between. and when they had the baby, i fell in love. i couldn't wait to come over to play with her and help take care of her. she was gorgeous and cuddly and as fun as a little doll.

it was actually because of that desire to see the baby all the time that made me realize that all of a sudden, i was the only one making the effort to spend time with them. i wasn't getting any more phone calls, didn't get picked up anymore, and the visits were always initiated by me. and a few times, they said they were coming to pick me up, and never came. i was sure they'd forgotten all about me. i even tested it - i stopped calling and waited to see how long it would take for them to realize that they hadn't so much as talked to me.

i waited so long that i got tired of waiting. i gave in and called. i missed my dad and i wanted to see my sister, dammit.

but then another month went by with no contact, and i got frustrated. no one was answering the phone, and so i put pen to paper and wrote them a letter that told them how i felt. i talked about how i felt left behind, that i missed them, and how i couldn't understand why they didn't call me anymore. i explained that my feelings were hurt that they never made an effort to see me anymore, and that i felt like i'd been replaced by the baby. i read and re-read that letter, had my mom take a look at it to make sure i wasn't out of line or disrespectful, dropped it in the mail and hoped for the best.

two days later, i finally got a phone call. but it wasn't my dad. it was HER. and she was PISSED. she told me in no uncertain terms that my letter was stupid, that they'd never forgotten to pick me up, that the baby came first now, and that they didn't want to see me anymore. i hung up the phone and cried and cried and cried, and from that very day, part of my heart was cold, hard, and broken in a way that couldn't be fixed or healed.

when i was 17, i gave it another shot. my boyfriend (who later became the ex/the kid's dad) took me to where my dad still worked with two of my uncles, and we waited for him to come out. and when he did, it was awkward and weird, but i couldn't help but note how good it was to see him again. not a word was said about the letter or the bitch who banished me from their lives, but he told me that i had a brother. um, and he took the opportunity to talk shit about my mom for "allowing" me to have a boyfriend. yeah, because his ass was around to be a parent, right? sheeeeeit.

and did he make any more efforts after that? nope. in fact, when i was 21 and sent him an invitation to our wedding, the RSVP came back with a big, fat "no". oh, but there was $100 thrown in the envelope. because that makes it better. "here's some cash, have a nice life" is how i read that. and my heart broke all over again. i wasn't going to have him walk me down the aisle anyway - that was reserved for my mom, who was there for me all along - and family members kept assuring me that "he'll be there, just watch - he'll be in the back of the church, watching." nope.

i made one final attempt to bring him back into my life - when i was pregnant with the kid. i thought for sure that he'd want to be part of his grandchild's life, at least. and when i talked to him and invited him to come to our home, he sounded excited and said that he had a "surprise" for me. well, okay. i like surprises. usually.

when the day of the visit came, i was absolutely TERRIFIED. i was about to face that horrible woman again, but this time i was older, stronger, wiser, and determined not to let her get to me. i was going to be polite, even gracious, and show that bitch that she couldn't hurt me anymore. the doorbell rang, and i pushed the visions of me putting that whore in a headlock out of my head and answered the door.

and there stood my dad, my sister (oh, but she'd grown up so much!), and my brother. no sign of the trollop anywhere. after awkward hugs and greetings, dad said "are you ready for your surprise?" 

oh, shit. 

he left and came back with a completely different woman whom i'd never seen before AND another little girl - a 3-year-old sister. apparently, he'd finally split from that tramp and remarried, and this woman was his very first girlfriend (even before he'd met my mom), but this little girl was still a product of his unholy union with that snatch. i found it amusing that while he was going through what sounded like an ugly divorce, he and the golddigger had still managed to conceive yet ANOTHER child. [eyeroll] sur-fucking-prise, indeed. "hey, you have another sibling, surprise! yay!" rainbows and fucking lollipops all around! whoopee!  how very fucking magical!

the new wife was nice enough, and the visit turned out to be a fun one after the initial awkwardness. and we had another handful of visits after that one - the kid was born, they visited us, we visited them, and then...nothing. the last time i saw my dad was just before the kid turned a year old. and he got laid off from work, so i have no idea where he is anymore. last i heard, he'd moved back to the homeland. nice. leave the country for good and not even tell your kid.

i googled him once (the magic of the internets!) and found a picture from five years ago at some retirement party. he looked the same, just older - although what did i expect, tattoos and a nose piercing? anyway, that's all i've seen of him in ages.

so much time has gone by and i've tried to convince myself that it doesn't matter anymore. i tried and tried and tried to hold on to a relationship with this man, and he simply didn't care enough to put in even a half-assed effort. i have plenty of family who loves me, i've got a wonderful husband and two fabulous children, awesome friends, and a life that i'm extremely proud of and grateful for. i don't need him. right?

damn you, bio-dad, for treating me like shit and leaving me behind once you'd built a new family that you could have a fresh start with. shame on you for taking your love away from your firstborn child and not realizing that it is possible to share it with your new children AND your old one. i'm half your age and i'm far wiser about this shit than you obviously are.  i mean, how the hell can you be someone's PARENT and just forget all about them?  i don't understand that.  not even a little.  even those who aren't parents would have trouble with that, i'm thinking.

and damn me for still caring and hurting and crying over you. and for still being that sad and lonely 12-year-old who has a dad, but doesn't. not so much.

out and about

so the bean and i took advantage of the lovely weather to go out and run some errands in old town pasadena. i needed to find a couple of white elephant gifts, and finish off the very last of the gift shopping. i keep thinking we're done, and then i look at the list and realize...not so much. heh.

i strapped the bean into my trusty moby wrap and we took off down colorado boulevard. of course, i stopped in at my first love - paper source - as they'd forgotten to put some stuff in my bag when i was there this weekend. i so love that store. i want to marry it. the next stop was THE ultimate white elephant gift store - urban outfitters. they have the best, wackiest, funniest shit that ever was in there. obviously, i can't show you what i ended up buying, but here's a couple of the top contenders:

i'm sure that the staff thought i was absolutely nuts - walking around with various items in my hand, laughing my ass off. i also almost bought this fabulous glass, but changed my mind. oh, man. good times, good times.

restoration hardware was the next stop, for a few "couple" gifts. i wanted to keep one for me, but i reminded myself "not buying for you, dumb ass" and kept walking. a couple of the recipients sometimes peruse this blog, so i can't show you what the presents are, but trust me - they're fabulous.

i still owed my BFF a birfday present (oops!), so i stopped in at victoria's secret to pick up a gift card and some jammies. not very original, but every girl likes a new pair of jammies, right? well, this girl does, anyway.

and lastly, we stopped at michael's to pick up some stuff for the treats we're giving as gifts to the hub's staff and team members.

oh! here's my spice girls tee:

aaaaaaand with that, i've run out of stuff to say.

till tomorrow, anyway.

the good, the bad, and the ugly.

yes, my weekend included moments that fall under each of those categories. ready? here we go:

friday:

you already know i was fully and completely excited for the spice girls reunion concert the kid and i got tickets to. we spent the entire afternoon obsessing over what to wear and squealing in giddy anticipation of the show. the biggest bummer was the rain, because we figured there would be ugly, ugly traffic all the way to staples center. but we didn't let it bring us down. nothing could bring us down - we were going to see scary, baby, ginger, posh, and sporty spice in a matter of hours!

the hub got home around 5, excited to spend the evening alone with the bean (awwww!). and at about 5 minutes to 6, he was kinda buggin' - "are you ready yet? you should get going since you have dinner reservations at 7."

we had seats in the premier section, which gave us access to the exclusive (ooh la la!) arena club restaurant. the hub and i have eaten there before, and you get a fun view of the venue from there, too. i'd called earlier in the day and reserved a table for two at 6:30, but the hub suggested we make it at 7:00 instead, in case of the dreaded traffic. i couldn't understand why he was all up in the bidness about this, but whatever. i called back and changed our dinner time.

as we headed out the door, car keys in hand, the hub said "i got a surprise for you guys out here." and it turned out that all his buggin' was due to the car and driver sitting in the driveway! he'd secretly arranged for them to take us to and from the concert! woo-hoo! we were such rock stars. we climbed up into that escalade and kicked back the entire way, with the spice girls' greatest hits CD cranked up (which i'm sure the driver just LOVED, heh).

we didn't get to staples until almost 7:30. boo. i was envisioning a hot dog and chips dinner, which normally wouldn't be terrible, but i was hoping for something a bit more substantial, y'know? we made our way through the crowds (i haven't been around that much estrogen all in one place since the *nsync concert a few years ago - shut up) to the VIP entrance and up the stairs. after glancing at our tickets, we were directed to walk through the restaurant to our section. i asked the dude where we needed to check in for dinner, and i was told "the restaurant is closed, ma'am."

1. i fucking HATE being called "ma'am".
2. THE RESTAURANT IS CLOSED??

what. the. fuck. i was so annoyed, but then the kid said "who cares, mom, we're going to see the SPICE GIRLS!!" and we got giddy again and forgot all about dinner. well, sort of. i eyed the two available food stands and made a mental note to return ASAP. being me, i was absolutely starving. what else is new?

our seats were pretty damn good. we were in the 4th row of our section, which was to the stage's right side. we'd had the chance to get floor seats, but as we counted the rows to see where we'd have been sitting, we were glad to be where we ended up. on the floor, we'd have been stuck behind a shitload of folks on their feet. and let's face it - we're short asian females. heh.

i went back to the sandwich station and ordered a reuben sandwich and a big ass pepsi. EW, pepsi. oh, well. and as i waited for my food (the kid decided she wasn't hungry and went back to our seats), i indulged in some peoplewatching - which was quite interesting, given where i was. there were the most interesting (read: ridiculously, hideously ugly) outfits walking around, and i wanted to know what kind of mirrors these girls had at home, because they must've all been BROKEN. holy shit. it was kind of like halloween, where 14-year-old girls use the occasion as an excuse to DRESS LIKE WHORES. i wanted to take pictures so badly, but i didn't. you'll just have to trust me.

so i took my food back to my seat and was just about to start grubbin' when this lady came over and said "is one of you wan-nabe?" the kid looked a little scared, poor thing. ha! anyway, she turned out to be a rep from the arena club, gushing with apologies and explanations about how the decision to close the restaurant was a last-minute one (apparently, it was just crazy during wednesday's concert) and they'd "forgotten" to tell their reservation agents. whatever. she handed me a business card and said to give her a call the next time we were at staples for an event, and offered to buy our dinner. hell, by the time i get back to staples again, this heffa probably won't even be working there anymore.

here's a plethora of pictures from the show - i know that's really why you're even bothering to read this post ;)

did you know that geri/ginger spice's union jack minidress that was her signature outfit sold for almost $68K - and that makes it the priciest piece of pop culture memorabilia ever? it's, like, in the guinness book of world records and errrrrythang.

it was an awesome show - we didn't sit down the whole time, although i couldn't get the kid to dance for anything. and victoria/posh was the clear local favorite, being an l.a. girl and all. what cracked me up was when each girl took the stage solo to sing a song that reflected her personality, posh simply donned some oversize sunglasses and strutted down the stage like a runway model to rupaul's "supermodel (you better work)". didn't sing a note, didn't dance, just strolled to the end and struck a few poses. i always pegged her as the spice who couldn't sing, because they only let her sing a few lines in every other song. ha!

we pushed our way through afterwards for t-shirts, which i shall model tomorrow. and then we met up with our driver and came home. the spice girls CD was still playing, and the kid passed out in spiced-out bliss.

saturday:

i had to take the kid back to her dad's house by 9 the next morning. boo. and then later that morning, the bean and i took off to costa mesa for the paul frank warehouse sale. i was hoping to find a few gifts and stock up on some fun tees and hoodies for myself. and i was shocked when my friend lilcee called to say she'd been standing in line since 8:45 that morning and was still waiting to get in - it was already noon! holy shit.

i got to the warehouse, found that the rest of the street was blocked off, and went to turn around to find parking. and then...i hit the brake about half a second too late. i bumped into a car that had snuck up behind me that i TOTALLY hadn't seen. i muttered "FUCK!" (because the bean was asleep) and hopped out to view the damage.

luckily, the girl i hit didn't seem too worried about the scratches on her rear bumper. i didn't see any damage to my car, although i'd have rather had the scratches than have to deal with fixing her shit. damn. we exchanged information and then both took off.

it wasn't too hard to find parking within a relatively decent walking distance, but i was pretty dismayed to see that girl park across the street from me and start heading towards the sale. dammit, i was going to be stuck standing in line for god knows how long next to the girl whose car i ran into. crap. i ducked back into the car and tried to find something to kill some time, haha! but then i called lilcee, and luckily (for me, not really for her), she was still in line. i made my way through the line (trying not to take note of the evil glances coming my way) and met up with her and her hub. whew. i saved some line-waiting time AND avoided a potentially awkward-as-hell scenario.

we stood in line for probably another hour before being set free to run amok and scoop up goodies from the boxes and clothes rails set up inside. i managed to find gifts for everyone on my list, but not too much for me. bummer. i made my way to the cashiers and ponied up my $170, and then met up with lilcee & hub again to snap a picture and walk back to our cars.

after explaining the incident to the hub (who thankfully didn't get mad, but i endured a few fun comments about asian woman drivers over the rest of the weekend), the bean and i made our way home and relaxed for a few before we took off again. this time, we headed out to pasadena to do some more christmas shopping and grab a quick dinner. and then we went home and watched "waitress" with keri russell. weird movie, but i think we both liked it. it was cute and funny, and left us both wanting pie. i wonder if i can figure out exactly what "marshmallow mermaid pie" is. it sounded yummier than "i hate my husband pie" or "i don't want earl's baby pie", and besides, i heart marshmallow.

sunday:

we slept in and ended up hitting the latest church service at 11:15. from there, we headed out to find something to eat and found ourselves back in pasadena, at crocodile cafe on lake. we'd never been there before, but i quickly learned that they have the best lemonade ever. i watched the dude make it, with fresh-squeezed lemon juice and yummy sugar water. it was almost better than philippe's, but theirs cost a little more than $.60. heh. after stuffing ourselves silly, we headed over to the old town area and stopped in at pottery barn to look for christmas decor. upstairs, we were looking at an area rug in a brown and cream print when a salesgirl came up and started gushing about how much she liked that particular rug.

girl: "isn't that a great rug? i love that it's in brown, it looks so good."
me: "yeah, but does it come in other colors? i'd rather have it in black."
girl: "black?? i think it would be so tacky in black."

the hub and i exchanged amused-slash-incredulous glances before he said "yeah, babe, you're so TACKY." and that stupid girl was absolutely, positively oblivious to the whole thing. i mouthed "i'm tacky. what the fuck." to the hub while she just kept on talking. finally, she was called away by another salesgirl across the floor, and we just started cracking up. now that's the way to get customers to buy shit - insult 'em and tell 'em they're tacky. wow.

we met up with the hub's grandparents back at church for the annual "song of christmas" show and then had dinner at cafe mundial in monrovia.

and today, i'm going to wade through the zillion boxes of christmas gifts, the result of my recent online shopping extravaganza. i'm hoping to get them all out and wrapped, and toss the boxes in the trash for tomorrow's pickup. doesn't that sound exciting?

dear santa,

i've decided to recant my previous post requesting fun and frivolous material things for christmas. instead, i'd like to make a list of things i'm grateful for, and focus on how lucky i am:

my kids. i'm still astonished at the fact that i get to pluralize that term now, even though the bean is already two months old. she and the kid have brought me so much joy, and i can't imagine life without them.

the hub. having celebrated our wan-niversary a few days ago, i'm reminded of how much love we share and how great we are for each other. i bring my own brand of silliness, while he pulls me back down to reality when i'm particularly crazy. plus, he has endless patience, which is a good thing if you're going to live with me. ha!

my family. as much as they can aggravate the hell out of me at times, i don't know what i'd do if i didn't have them around.

the hub's family. they're such wonderful people, and i'm truly blessed with the most loving and thoughtful ILs that ever were.

my home. even though it was a royal pain in the ass moving (especially while nine months pregnant), and knowing that we'll have to move again in '08, it's comfy, cozy, and is definitely "home". i'm just a little sad that it's the bean's first home, and she'll never remember it. oh, well.

my friends. i've got the most fabulous support system made up of some really awesome women. they're sweet, smart, funny, beautiful, and we can disagree on stuff from uggs to politics and still love each other no matter what.

my clients! although my little invitation business isn't exactly on its way to being included in the fortune 500, my first year has been terrific, and i've really enjoyed working with my clients.

my dog. even though she's dumb as a post and pisses on the floor even with two separate puppy pads out, i love her to death.

my CAR. i so love my car. she's fun to drive, holds all my crap (much to the dismay of the hub), and is one of the safest vehicles around - this is quite important, for obvious reasons. and she's pretty, too ;)

i really hope i haven't forgotten anything. oh! i'm grateful for my fabulous (albeit drug-free) 4-hour labor with the bean. and thanks for soapnet. ooh! and buttcrack-of-dawn "saved by the bell" marathons on tbs. um, and the spice girls reunion.

i better stop now. look for cookies on the mantel, because the kid and the bean are still hoping you'll stop by the house. hope you aren't sick of chocolate chip.

love,
wan-nabe

p.s. should you find that it wouldn't be christmas without granting at least one (or all, hell, i'm not picky) of my materialistic wishes, that would be cool too. i sure won't toss any wrapped packages with my name on 'em out the window. ya dig?

can you feeeeel the love toniiiiiiight...

(now i have the lion king-style chanting in my head)

weird. i hadn't gotten any e-mails to tell me that my last post had received a comment, and i wasn't feeling the love. i thought that perhaps all my talk about the bean and the wan-niversary and all of the other silly things i love to blog about had finally chased away any and all readers, and that made me sad.

but then i glanced at the bottom of the post and saw not a big fat "0", but "10"! yay for me! i love to read people's comments about the nonsensical stuff i post. it's still weird that i never got any notifications, but i don't care. you read me! you really read me! :)

today the hub and i (and the bean, of course) drove down to la jolla to finalize some paperwork at the attorneys' office for our trust and the corporation we're finally able to start. we've been trying to get it up and running for ages, but there were always hurdles to jump over, and at last, it's done! we're all official and stuff. the bean slept all the way down, and then through most of the meeting (which lasted damn near two hours, so kudos to her), and then was an angel during our celebratory sushi lunch at cafe japengo.

that's our favorite place to eat when we're down in the la jolla area (next to jake's del mar, of course, where we got engaged. we'll hit that up in a couple of weeks to celebrate our engagement-versary. shut up) - they have a japengo special roll that i love. crab and cucumber, rolled in rice and topped with smoked salmon and sesame seeds. heaven. i was particularly hungry, because we didn't have time to stop for breakfast, so i pigged out on a shrimp tempura roll, a "pizza roll" - crab, cucumber and smoked salmon rolled in rice and baked with a crab-garlic mayonnaise - and not one, but TWO japengo special rolls. wow. the only bummer was that they serve pepsi. booooooooo. i don't do pepsi. it's gross.

and the hub spent a lot of time laughing at me (again, not an unusual occurrence) because i was moving around like an old crotchety arthritic lady. the kid and i took our first kickboxing class (and not even a "real" kickboxing class like at a karate studio, but the kind at a wimpy women's gym) last night and i was so damn sore, i wanted to cry. everything hurts - my abs, my thighs, my back, my arms, my ass - and i'm trying to muster up the courage to make myself go to the next class on monday. i was panting and wheezing and sweating and the kid turns to me at one point, takes note of my discomfort, and goes "really, mom? really??"

i gave her the stink eye and reminded her that i hadn't stepped into a gym in three months, but she gets P.E. every day at school. and then i blew raspberries at her and continued with my jab/hook/duck combos.

and now i'm just waiting for the hub and the kid to get back with our christmas tree. i'm totally excited! i love the holidays. yay!

wan-derful wan-niversary

last night's wan-niversary dinner was fabulous.  we went out to rancho cucamonga's victoria gardens mall for fleming's steakhouse. the hub was always talking about how yummy it was there (many, many client dinners), but i'd never been.  hey, i like steak.

of course, the girls and i totally ran late in getting there, but once we got the bean into her stroller and headed towards the restaurant, we spied the hub pulling in and MIL sitting on a bench, waiting for us.  she'd offered to walk around the mall with the bean while the three of us enjoyed a quiet meal together, which was quite lovely.  fleming's ain't exactly the kind of place that you can wheel a stroller into, ya dig?

and as always, i'm so sad that i couldn't take pictures of the oh-so-delicious food.  we started with a seafood tower appetizer (this picture is from the fleming's website) - and it was just that.  a big ass platter of chilled offerings including shrimp, king crab legs, dungeness crab cocktail, crab claws (sense a pattern here?), and there was some squid in there too (ew).  i opted for a bowl of lobster chowder, the hub got a wedge salad, and the kid munched on some of the toast with red pepper-cheese spread.  she's not much of a steak eater and claimed to have a tummyache, so she ordered a giant baked potato with all the toppings and a side of their creamy mac & cheese.  i went for the bone-in ribeye (the most ginormous steak i've ever ordered for myself), and the hub chose the filet.  grilled asparagus, sourdough bread, and shoestring potatoes were our sides, which we shared with the kid.  and then we capped it all off with chocolate lava cake and ice cream.  so. stinking. fabulous.

and the two of them laughed their asses off at me (which is nothing new) - they were deep in discussion about the spice girls concert the kid and i are going to on friday when i blurted out "hey, cool, the butter's shaped like an "f"!"  i'd just grabbed a piece of bread and was poised with my butter knife and that shit was molded into the fleming's "f" logo!  it was cool, dammit. i admired it for another second before i dug in and fucked it all up.  it was delicious.

so we didn't put our wedding dresses on for dinner, but as soon as the kid and i got home (the hub had to go back to the office to pick up his laptop), we jumped right into them and waited for him to get home.  and then he took so freaking long that by the time he finally made an appearance, we were watching tv and relaxing. all of a sudden, from behind us, i heard a chuckle and "wow, nice dresses."  oh, well.  so we just had him take a picture (of course).

i just now realized that i never took a single picture with him.  you know, my husband.  on our anniversary.  heh.  oops.

it's the 2nd wan-niversary!

unbelievable.  i just can't get over the fact that this was two years ago:

we were so grateful to have this happy group of 26 people share that special time with us - some of our closest and most cherished family and friends trekked across the pacific and celebrated the official beginning of our happy little family.

we've had lots of changes, quite a few high and low moments, celebrated holidays, moved, and welcomed the bean into the family.  there's been tears, guffaws, smiles, tantrums.  the kid's graduated from elementary school and is a big, bad 7th grader who kicks ass and is too cool to take names. the bean's already been to maui to see where her parents got married. i've enjoyed some success in my fun little business venture. and the hub has continued his quest to "sell the world".   

and, look!  i managed to fit back into my dress!

effing SWEET.

check this. it's been a whole year since:

bwahahahahaha!  man, i still crack me up.

so we're going out to dinner tonight, and the kid and i were trying to get the hub to join us in wearing our wedding clothes (like my friend lilcee did on their anniversary), but no cigar.  well, he'll probably have a cigar, but he sure won't bust out his tux.  and he swears he'll walk out if i show up in a big poofy white dress.  damn.  that would've topped last year's bridal twirl fo' sho'.

anyway, to my dear hub (again, he won't ever read this, but so whatl):

i still get happy when you call to say you're coming home.  

i still get goosebumpy when you wink at me.  

i still get teary when i think of how much we went through to be together. 

i still smile to myself when i sign something and see my name tied to yours.  

i still look forward to getting my "hello" kiss when you walk in the door.  

i still get a little nervous when you take a bite of something i've cooked and bask in your praise even when it tastes like poo. 

i still think you're one hell of a hot and sexy man.  

and, i still get all warm and fuzzy whenever you say "i love you".

i love you too.  always and forever.  i'm proud to be your wife, and oh, so proud to call you my husband.  

not a weekend recap.

and why?

because we didn't do shit all damn weekend long.  we got up and got ready like we were going to go out and do fun stuff, and then shit would get in the way.

*cough*ucla/usc game!*cough*

bleh.

so today was the bean's 2-month "well baby" check-up.

  we'd been forewarned that this visit would include her first set of vaccinations, so i was absolutely dreading it.  i just hate the thought of my poor little bean being in pain.  [shudder]

and it made things even worse when she fell asleep in the car on the way to the appointment and was all warm and cozy in her seat.  we totally had to wake her up and get her fully undressed.  now, she normally doesn't mind it - she digs getting her diaper corrected and wardrobe changes - but she opened up those peepers and realized we weren't at home in the happy place.  as the wailing commenced, the hub murmured in her ear "if you think this is bad, wait till you see what's coming next."  nice.

she's above average in the head size, height, and weight categories.  by no means is she a chubby mctubberson, though.  she's quite healthy.  we were happy to hear this.  22.5 inches tall, 11 pounds, 12 ounces.  

"hold her hands, daddy" said the nurse.

i closed my eyes and stroked her little head.

and then the tears began in earnest.  oh, and then the bean started crying, too.  yup.  the hub made SO MUCH FUN of me.  "i don't know who cried more, you or mommy", he said as the bean calmed down.  ugh.  i was so glad it was over - until her 4-month visit.  and then the 6. blech.

oooh oooh oooh, guess what else??  we're going to see the SPICE GIRLS!!  the hub and i found great tickets online for this friday's show at staples center, and at tomorrow's anniversary dinner, we're going to tell her about it.  she's been dying to go and it'll be fun for me to take her again - she was 4 when they toured the last time, and she loves talking about her first concert.  it's going to be so much fun - and she'll like that we have premier seats, so we can use the VIP entrances.  ha!

so last night we were having dinner at the hub's grandparents' when my phone rang.  i ignored it, but when it rang again ten minutes later the kid pulled it out and handed it to me.  it was my friend A:

A:  "have you read my email yet?"

me:  "um, no.  i'm at the grandparents'."

A:  "are you busy tomorrow afternoon?  wanna go to a casting call for the babies?"

turns out she was shopping and was approached by a casting director looking for beans between 2-4 months for a state farm commercial.  the hub blurted out "ooh, she could pay for college!"

heh.  well, i don't know about that, but we're headed out to l.a. this afternoon to check it out.  it'd be pretty cool!  the kid wants to go, too - even though it's for babies, the casting agency seems to specialize in asian, um, "talent".  

wish us luck.  maybe the bean's magical head of luxurious baby hair will catch someone's eye!  

two months already!?!

yup.  exactly two months ago, the bean was born.  as challenging as it's been to adjust to life with a newborn (mentally AND physically!), i'm just amazed at how fast the time has flown by.  she's smiling, cooing, and doing a darn good job of sleeping through most of the night.  it's been a while since i had my 4am "saved by the bell" fix!

hey, we don't celebrate the wedding monthiversaries anymore.  heh.