during our weekend shopping extravaganza, we made a pitstop at borders to find a book for the kid's book report. while she perused the "young adult" section, i found this:
i was fairly certain there wouldn't be much in there that i didn't already know (sugar is the devil, avoid alcohol, exercise is key), but as i flipped through the first few pages, these lines jumped out at me:
"Cigarettes are for losers. They are so 1989 and totally uncool. Not only do they screw up your body chemistry, but they also kill your taste buds. No wonder you eat shit and garbage. Smoking's out. Give it up."
"Coffee is for pussies. You should not need anything to wake up."
and my favorite (so far):
"Your junk food has a shelf life of twenty-two years and will probably outlive your fat, sorry ass."
i had to scoop up this book and take it home. i was attracting all sorts of angry stink-eye stares from the incessant giggling in the bookstore. the kid eyed my selection and cracked up.
and then we went shopping at target yesterday and came upon this fabulous item, called "tooth tunes":
yup, it's a musical toothbrush. it plays the music ONLY if you're brushing your teeth, and you get a full 2 minutes of your favorite song while you keep the cavities away. awesome.
there's a limited selection of songs as it's targeted towards kids, but i wanted one. too bad i couldn't find anything more grown up than queen's "we will rock you".
what song would keep you brusha-brusha-brushing away for a full 2 minutes?
Your Skinny Bitch book is cracking me up. And that toothbrush is making me cringe a little. I'm not really a morning person and I don't think I want my cleaning tools singing to me first thing when I wake up. ;)ReplyDelete
Good God, who made that toothbrush? Satan?ReplyDelete
I'll pass. :P
I liked Skinny Bitch a lot. Just as a warning though, it has a chapter on what's done to the animals in the slaughterhouses. So if you want to remain ignorant about that (assuming you are), skip that chapter. :)ReplyDelete
since u been gone, kelly clarkson. hands down.ReplyDelete
the book sounds funny. the toothbrush, not so much.ReplyDelete
Dahahaha! Those both are hilarious!ReplyDelete
Yeah, I don't know if I want a singing toothbrush . . . but the book sounds funny :)ReplyDelete
j and i looked through that book last weekend and just shook our heads. we were personally amused at the chapter labeled "poop." lovely. ;)ReplyDelete
Twenty-two years! Yikes...ReplyDelete
stopping by your blog via Leslie's...and I like it! Just wanted to say, well, I THOUGHT about buying that book Skinny Bitch, but like Leslie said there is that horrifying chapter about animal slaughter houses. I don't think I could handle that!!ReplyDelete