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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

like taking candy from a baby.

our local school district, just like others all across the state (and the country), has been struggling to keep it together. and in an effort to save programs, class sizes, staff, teachers, etc., a group of parents and other concerned local folks got together and formed the FGUS - a nonprofit organization whose purpose is to raise money and keep everything together as much as possible.

i was tapped by mrs. g-town, the wife of a guy i used to work for - they live in the area and have two school-aged daughters - to help with this year's big fundraiser. of course, having the teen at the high school and wanting to be of some help, i told her that i was available to help with whatever they needed. i ended up doing a few little things, like ordering supplies and stuff like that. and then, a couple of days before the event, she called to see if i'd be willing to help man one of the food booths. well, sure, no biggie.

the hub and i arrived at the venue a few minutes early - someone had volunteered to host the party in their ginormous back yard. it was quite the flurry of activity as the committee scrambled to get everything in place.

we checked in and picked up our program and bid number for the live auction.

we moseyed on into the backyard to check out the tables that held all of the items available for the silent auction.

i totally snickered at a few of them. like, an autographed CD from the bieb or a framed photograph signed by taylor swift and stevie nicks with minimum bids of $250? really? i murmured to the hub "now, if that was the jonas brothers i'd consider it, for the teen's birthday." which, by the way, is coming up. my kid is going to be FIFTEEN. i just enrolled her in driver's ed for the summer. [thud]

and then i got to the "we are the world" guitar - which DID have all three brothers' names scrawled on it, along with a whole slew of other folks. minimum bid? $1,000.

another guitar, signed by some cool chicks.

i thought of my friend DTLATruckChaser, who's a beachbody rep, when i spied this offering:

the food booths, manned by a handful of local restaurants who donated their food and services for the evening, were still being set up.

the high school band was all tuned up and started to play background music, right next to the dessert table.

mrs. g-town rounded up a couple of high school boys to help me grab the trays of food from the car that had picked it up from the restaurant and take them to the booth. they were quiet at first, but warmed up as i cracked a few jokes here and there. i wondered if the teen knew these boys, and vice-versa, but i decided not to embarrass her and just kept my mouth shut.

and then i was mortified when mr. g-town came up, put an arm around each of them and gestured in my direction. "hey, guys, you ever met a real live cougar before?" i wanted to slug him, but that's just him - silly and always trying to be funny. i wasn't really offended, but i hoped they didn't take him seriously. oy. good thing i hadn't mentioned the teen by name after all.

i totally cracked up when i found "my" booth. i gave g-town and his mrs. so much shit for assigning me to serve up the asian grub. the hub pointed and laughed at me from a nearby table as he watched me turn on the fake charm and smile for the attendees. "would you like a spring roll? they've got shrimp, lettuce, noodles, a little mint, and pork inside. oh, and don't forget the peanut dipping sauce. ah, and that chili sauce? it'll burn your mouth off, so be careful!" and predictably, everyone assumed that i worked at the restaurant that had provided the eats. at first, i tried to explain that i didn't, that i was just a volunteer at the fundraiser, but after rattling that off a few times i just gave up. "yup, we're right there on glendora avenue, right next to the pet shop."

later, after everyone had eaten their fill, i finally left my post to grab a plate of food for myself. i stopped at "my" booth to make sure the boys (who were told to stay there a little longer) were doing okay, and found them trying to barter a tray of spring rolls for a $20 raffle ticket. heh.

having been outbid on everything we'd signed up for in the silent auction, i figured i could bust out my last $20 bill on a ticket. besides, it was for a $500 cash prize, and you can't win if you don't play, right? i shoved the ticket in my pocket and took my plate to join the hub at our table.

before the live auction began, the auctioneer (who was comically attired in a suit that made him look like a leprechaun) pulled out the winning ticket for the raffle. i was talking to mr. g-town as he started reading the six-digit number aloud, one by one for dramatic effect, and listened with one ear as we chatted.

but then i realized that the numbers were all matching my ticket. all the way to the next-to-last digit.

still carrying on the conversation, i was laughing as the last number was announced and didn't hear it. i went over to the hub, who wasn't paying a lick of attention, and waited for the auctioneer to repeat the number as no one had stepped forward yet. and when he did, my heart started pounding and i handed the ticket to the hub to confirm what i'd heard.

"you won, you won!"

i threw up my hands and cheered for myself, until the hub nudged me again - "uh, you have to go up there to get your prize." duh.

i scampered up to the podium, presented my ticket for him to confirm, and he handed me an envelope as i beamed and made my way back to the table.


we were outbid on everything we raised our number for during the live auction, and i felt a little funny coming home with more money than we'd arrived with. haha! it seemed kind of wrong to take cash home from a school fundraiser, but i did it. hey, they raised a shitload - some dude paid $15,000 for a framed case containing a bunch of signed Dodger baseballs. another paid $5000 for a week in someone's newport beach home. and yet another coughed up $3000 for a trip to napa.

i wanted to spend my surprise winnings on an iPad, but the hub totally guilted me out of it. damn. so now the cash is absolutely burning a hole in my pocket (figuratively, of course - i don't carry $500 on my person), but i should probably just save it. bah!

lastly, the teen has been trying to teach her sister to say stuff (like, she's responsible for the whole
"what does snoop dogg say?" to which the bean will respond "yo yo yo!"). last night, as she was getting ready to go to bed, she got her to say this:

it cracks me up that the bean doesn't "do" contractions. the teen tried and tried to get her to say "i'm," but it always came out as "i. am." i love it.


  1. I can't believe that was someone's backyard - huge! And WEwwwwwt for $500! I never get that lucky!

  2. WOO HOO for the $500!! :)

    Thanks for the shout out! :) I would have LOVED that We Are the World guitar. I'm a huge Lionel Richie fan (if you didn't know that already!). I don't know that I would have spent so much on it though.

  3. I would have spent that money 5 ways from Sunday by now! Oh, who are we kidding. I probably would have used it to pay bills. Bah.

  4. aahahahah, I know Mr. and Mrs. g-town and all I have to say is..."run little man run!" Ahahahahah, that kills me :)

    Hey, I need to find out how they got all the sweet shit for the silent auction...Ive got one of my own coming up in October!

  5. iPlayed with my friend's iPad last night. iLiked it.

  6. Congratulations on your big win, you lucky One!
    Spend it wisely. :)

  7. Dang, I wish my school district was that baller! Oh and I love how you ended up just pretending to work at the Asian food place, totally something I would do. Woot Woot for winning $$!

  8. Wow, congratulations on winning 500 bucks! You should definitely save at least some of it.

  9. 1. dang. glendora is still as white as it was in HS? the chili sauce will burn your mouth off?

    2. that is a HUGE backyard.

    3. LOVE what teen is teaching bean.

  10. I think you should have pretended not to speak English.

  11. I love how the teen is a great influence for the bean :) I really want an iPad too! The hubs has said no so far though. Plus I still also really want a MJ bag. Hmph.

  12. That is so freaking awesome that you won the cash!! Looks like a fun event and all for a great cause. I can't believe they stuck you with the table of asian food though. :/


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