another day at the park

so i managed to survive my day at universal studios. i even managed to have some fun! yay! i can tell you that it was WAY more entertaining than the endless hours i spent wandering around ghetto ass knott's berry farm. *eyeroll*

yes, it was hotter than hell. yes, it was full of people who were exposing far too much flesh...and not in a good way. although i have to give them credit - there were fans with built-in misters stationed all over the park, and the regular misters on almost all of the buildings and throughout the lines for rides and shows. and while it was still a hell of a lot more crowded than i expected for a wednesday, the longest wait i ever saw for anything was about half an hour.

when we got there, i let the kid and her buddy off the hook by handing her some cash and sending 'em on their merry way. i knew they'd have a lot more fun without her very pregnant, old hag mom waddling behind them everywhere they went. besides, i found that getting in to see shows and things was REALLY easy when you're running solo. i could grab a seat at the end of just about any given row - which gave me easy access to getting the hell outta dodge as soon as the show was over.

and then i realized too late that i'd left the camera in the kid's backpack. bummer for me, because there were TONS of fabulous photo ops that i'd have loved to take advantage of. heh. actually, for you, it's probably a blessing!

i have to say that, although i certainly wasn't expecting any differently, people just disappoint me everywhere i go. there IS no such thing as common courtesy anymore - just like there's no such thing as customer service, either (except at nordstrom). nobody says "excuse me", or "please", or "thank you". folks were trampling on my toes, running into me with their strollers (this is something i plan on keeping a very close eye on in the next year or so), bumping into my belly, letting doors close behind them as i (or others) were walking right behind them...you get the picture. i find it very sad.

*ahem* anyway, i did take a picture of the window at at sparky's on citywalk, just for my friend lilcee. actually, nanette would have dug it too, i'm thinking.

and then i thought of my friend R, who's never been to bubba gump, and so i took these:















all in all, it wasn't as horrific as i'd expected. i managed to keep cool for the most part (with a little help from the waterworld show, during which i sat in the "wet zone"), drank a hell of a lot of water (i visited EVERY restroom in the joint), and managed to keep my snacking at a fairly decent level. i DID have a cinnabon (so delicious), a slice of pizza and salad, cotton candy, and a bag of cheetos. not exactly the healthiest of food choices, but hey, i didn't go balls-out, either. and i did a lot of walking! well, waddling. but it was activity nonetheless.

glutton for punishment.

[raising hand] yes, that would be me. and why?

it's going to be 98981498 degrees today, and i'll be spending my day at universal studios with the kid and one of her buds.

now, before you call the men in white suits to come and get me, let me explain:

i found out that the mexico trip the kid was supposed to be on last week with her pops didn't happen. now, she IS at an age where this probably wasn't something she was necessarily looking forward to, but still. the hub and i felt bad that her vacation fell through, like so many other things that - well, i'll leave that alone.

so we sat there at dinner last night, trying to get ideas out of her to at least get some enjoyment out of this, her last week with us for summer vacation (she starts school on 8/28). and of course, being the typical tween that she is, she shot down every idea we came up with - san diego, the beach, VEGAS. and nothin'.

however, we'd discussed the universal studios idea before, and like me, the kid LOVES theme parks. the debby downer wah-wah moment for me came when i pulled up the website and found that i wouldn't be able to do much other than the shopping and dining - not even the studio tour on the tram due to the "earthquake" part of it. but since this was the only thing that made her eyes light up, this is what we're doing.

i better put a survival kit together - bottle of water, check. magazine, check. book, check. snacks, check. sunblock, check. please think of me as you toil away in the comfort of your air-conditioned offices today. i'd actually be willing to trade places, for once. whaddaya say?

who has IL problems? not me!

this is so wonderfully fabulous that it deserved a separate post. seriously, it REQUIRES one.

MIL called me yesterday to give me an update on RSVPs for the upcoming shower - after getting the invitations out in saturday's mail, folks were already receiving them and responding. yay! and so far, we've got five attendees. and they're all people i KNOW! woo-hoo!

and after a few minutes of conversation, this:

MIL: "so i've been wanting to tell you something, but i keep forgetting."
me: "oh, really? what's up?"
MIL: "i was thinking, after the baby comes and you guys are settled into a routine, i'd like to offer my services to you one day a week. you can just pick a day, and i'll come over and you can go out and run errands, go shopping, or whatever you might be needing to get done. what do you think?"
me: [speechless, all choked up and teary-eyed]

considering all of the horrific IL stories i hear - most recently from my friend A, who gave birth recently and is STILL hosting her ILs in their home - this is amazing to me. A's ILs are driving her absolutely bonkers - undermining her every decision, offering unsolicited advice and following it behind her back, concocting projects around the house that she'll have to fix later, you get it.

how lucky am i?

4 in the morning

so that's not just a crappy ass gwen stefani song, but also what time i found myself WIDE awake today. i contemplated getting up and reading a book, or maybe checking e-mail, and instead tossed and turned for about an hour before the hub sat up, looked at the clock and said "you're having trouble sleeping, aren't you?"

oops. i felt bad, but he assured me that i wasn't keeping him awake and told me it wouldn't bug him if i turned the tv on. so yay, i got caught up on a couple of episodes of "general hospital" before i finally fell asleep around 6. yes, i'm addicted to that show. have been for years - it started around the 5th grade with the whole "luke & laura on the run" storyline and never died out. shut up.

our first baby-related class was last night at 6:00 - "breastfeeding: getting started". somehow, the hub conveniently found himself on the other side of the universe with a client around 4:00 and had to miss part of the class. aw, darn. and after i arrived and saw lots of women there without their partners, i plucked my phone from my purse to text him and let him off the hook - but golly gee whiz, i had no service in the building! aw, darn 2.0. tee hee!

he walked in about halfway through the discussion, just as the instructor was answering a question from one of the few dads-to-be.

"so if we go out drinking, i heard she can do a pump and dump so the kid doesn't get any of the alcohol, yeah?"

um, what? your wife is having TWINS and the first question you can think of has to do with drinking and partying? she looked mortified and i wanted to throw my gatorade bottle at his big fat head.

and much to the hub's disappointment, there were no live demonstrations with hot chicks. instead, he was treated to a video with lots and lots of boobage...just not particularly attractive boobage. the look on his face was PRICELESS. if i could've taken a picture (as my friend amber had requested of me earlier in the day), i would've. and when the instructor started talking about flat and inverted nipples and picked up a stuffed booby replica, i thought he was going to spew right then and there.

oh, man. i fear for him when we're in the "prepared childbirth" class over the next couple of sundays. he's gonna wish he was at a baby shower instead. muahahahahaha!

i have issues.

you're sitting there going "um, tell me something i DIDN'T already know." right? i know. it's cool, though, i still love you.

i'm horribly addicted to burger king's "mocha joe" iced coffee drink. yes, i know, i'm supposed to be caffeine-free. but it's so delicious, and a little caffeine is okay - everything in moderation, you know. hey, my doc said so. besides, it washes down my croissan'wich REALLY nicely. mmmmm.

the kid's been on a trip to mexico, checking out aztec ruins with her dad and his brood since last wednesday. i'm really missing her a lot - she'd normally have been home on friday morning. they fly home tonight and i'll get to pick her up tomorrow morning. miss. my. kid. like. mad.

at the party on saturday, we had to field the "do you have a name for the baby?" question about 487529083475 times. i'm being a crazy hormonal pregnant woman about the name game - we've decided not to reveal the bean's moniker until after she makes her grand entrance. folks inevitably want to give you their unsolicited opinion, and we don't really want to deal with it. now, we haven't actually finalized what it's going to be, but after having to smile and say "no, we don't have a name yet" and then dealing with "well, let's hear what you've got in mind!", from now on our answer is going to be "wonder woman" or "beulah rose". and then give a plastic smile.

we drove around what will be our new hometown yesterday, scouting out things like grocery stores, movie rental joints, car washes, etc. we're going to be walking distance to the the VERY small (but cute) downtown area, so that's going to be fun. there are TWO upscale baby stores within a block of each other (which i think is weird, but hey, whatever), plus a handful of cute clothing boutiques, a "my girlfriend's kitchen" (a dream dinners type of place) that i plan to hit up immediately, a cigar shop (the hub's already calculated the exact distance from our front door, oy vey), and two separate day spas! i was already thinking about getting information on treatments and such, and then the thought occurred to me: i won't be able to take advantage of this unless the hub's home! and, uh, it's not like he can wheel the baby into the cigar shop while i get a massage. and then it really hit me that we're going to have a baby. okay, duh, but life as we know it will never be the same. now, don't get me wrong - i'm thrilled beyond belief to be bringing a new little life into this world that will be shaped by me, the hub, and the kid - but things will be quite different in seven weeks. how selfish of me. ack.

lastly, invitations are out for MIL's shower! although it looks yellow in the picture, the ribbon is actually orange. i heart these a lot.

this ain't no "animal house" toga party.

okay, the toga party last night was OUT OF CONTROL.

first of all, the hub decided at the last minute (read: the morning of the party) that it would be a great idea to rent a costume. so off we went to alicia's costumes to find him something to wear. and as you can see, i ended up getting one too. i just couldn't let him make a fool out of himself alone. besides, i can wear the fabulous gold dress to something else. maybe i'll rock it at the shower MIL's putting together. heh. but the funniest part was when we got dressed and started driving - and realized we were out of gas. my poor husband had to get out of the car dressed like this and pump gas. i thought i was going to pee my pants, it was so damn funny. and he'd smile and wave at everyone who did a double-take. awesome.

so anyway, although we were fully aware that this was going to be a no-holds-barred kinda party, we were still damn shocked at the opulence of it all. and dammit, the hub wouldn't let me go crazy with the camera like i wanted to. i SO wanted to capture it all - from the over 200 guests in togas (in various forms, from towels sewn together to couture grecian-style gowns), to the chandeliers hanging from the trees, to the half-naked male and female models passing around food and fanning the crowds with feathers, to the uber-cushy red velvet lounge furniture scattered throughout the 2.5 acre property. not. even. kidding.

i managed to snap a pic of this chariot, though - i'm fairly certain that, had we arrived on time, we'd have seen the guest of honor making her grand entrance perched on this, carried by the hot, six-pack sporting (did i mention half-naked?) male hired gods.

the food was yummy and plentiful - lots of hot and cold hors d'oeuvres, chunks of cheesy focaccia bread, hand-carved meats, turkey legs - plus a huge chocolate fountain complete with all the typical dippin' goods. there must've been 30 servers there! plus, there were two separate bars on opposite ends of the party, and the hostess threw dry ice into the pool to make it look smoky and mysterious. a-maze-ing. she also had a great live band who played all sorts of fun dance music. they were still going when we left around 11:30 - i guess when you're on 2.5 acres, your neighbors aren't close enough to complain about noise. and they had a perfect place to perform - on the stage in front of the PERMANENT dance floor, surrounded by auditorium-style seating. just, wow.

in other news, my friend R alerted me to the presence of teasers from my maternity shoot on crissy's blog! you can see the rest of them here. as always, crissy's talent and artistic eye were spot-on. too bad i'm sporting an extra chin or two, but at least some of them are shot from a distance and you can't tell so much ;) okay, seriously, i LOVE these and can't wait to see the rest of the shots! we took so many, and i'm dying to see how they turned out. if they're half as good as these, it'll be difficult to pick a few to frame for the new casa. and you can see how much fun we had over the three-hour shoot - there are lots of giggly shots. i also remember being particularly sweaty - it was really warm, and crissy would shout to the hub "give her a kiss on the forehead!" and he'd look at my shiny ass dome and wrinkle up his whole face - "i don't wanna. it's yucky!" hahaha!

i also owe crissy a huge thank-you for the lovely photos she took of some of my invitation samples that she blogged about. with the amount of traffic her blog gets, it's a great plug that'll maybe get some attention!

so because i have to stick to my tradition, here's this week's self-portrait. maybe i'll do something with my gallery of these things later on. at least the bean can see what a doofus her mom is, although i'm sure it won't take her long to figure it out for herself.

and lastly, a big "happy birthday" to my dear mom! she's, oh, *mumble* years young today. yay!

showerzilla.

well, sort of. maybe a little bit. hmmm.

MIL and i were talking about the upcoming shower, discussing the venue and layout, etc., and she asked me what i wanted to give as favors. now, all along, i've had in mind some cute shaped sugar cookies shaped like onesies (or "oh-nee-zees", as a good friend of mine calls them), all done up in pink and orange (i totally swiped the color scheme from this same friend, hee!) icing and then wrapped in cellophane, finished with color-coordinated ribbon. because everything has to match, right? RIGHT?

and then as i woke up this morning at the ungodly hour of 5:30 (courtesy of molly, who's unquestionably back to normal), an image of our candy buffet from the wedding popped in my head. i decided, right then and there at 5:32am, that i HAD to have a mini version of this table of treats at the shower. i've got another window open already, looking for pink and orange selections at candy warehouse. this place is actually within a 5-minute drive for me, so it's uber convenient. and even with the boxes and scoops, it'll probably still be cheaper than the cookie idea! at least, that's what i'm telling myself.

as the hub was getting ready for work, i was peppering him with comments and requests for his opinion. i got the typical raised eyebrow and the deadpan "that sounds great, babe." twhatever. i pressed on:

even though i haven't seen them yet, i'm going to make a guest book of sorts using photos from the maternity shoot with crissy. folks can sign in if they like, offer baby advice, draw faces on the photos (hopefully on the ones of the hub and not me), whatever comes to mind. and this totally answers his sarcastic query about "what the hell are you going to DO with these pictures? we have TONS of pictures already."

[sigh] boys. they just don't get it.

and as i proofread this post, i realize that the title is ABSOLUTELY appropriate. holy crap. i've turned into one of *those* girls. poop.

i don't give a shit, though. i'm going to thoroughly enjoy the shower. and i hope there are leftovers from the candy buffet ;)

lastly, a quick shout-out to my dear brother, who's already copped to reading my blog on a regular basis. i love it! [waving at A] see you at dinner tonight, bro!

shower venue, check.

your eyes do NOT deceive you. this is, indeed, my second post in one day. i figure, it'll make up for not posting at all yesterday. i was so distracted with getting ready for crissy that i simply didn't get into it. i didn't have much to say anyway.


i went to altadena town & country club to check out the room they had available for the shower MIL's throwing for me. i'd seen it once before, but that was two years ago, and it wasn't one of the rooms we considered anyway, so i wanted to see what it looked like.


we're going to be partying in the "montecito" room. it's a great size - not as big as i thought it would be, but big enough to be able to spread out and mingle and stuff. yay!

there's a fireplace along one wall, and they have a couch and a couple of chairs that they'll put in front of it to make a "lounge"-ish area. i'm already planning on staking my claim on this couch for games and such - my fat ass will appreciate the cushiony space.


there's also a giant picture window that offers a great view of the city. we'll throw open these curtains and let all the lovely natural light into the otherwise dark room. and between the montecito room and the other banquet room is this cute little sitting area.

i'm picturing a bunch of cute little round and square cocktail tables in lieu of the typical rounds of 8 or 10. it'll be more fun that way, and people will be able to sit and talk to each other in smaller groups. we'll have pink and white linens and some pretty little cubes of pink and orange flowers on the tables. the goodies will be set up along the window and the ladies can graze and snack to their hearts' content! it's going to be so fun, i can't wait!

i'd do a fun baby shower twirl, but i'd get dizzy and i don't want to fall on my ass.

maternity photos gone WILD!

things i learned (or merely confirmed) from my shoot with crissy:

• i am NO supermodel. as many times as i've watched america's next top model, i obviously haven't picked up any tricks of the trade. stiff.as.a.board.org
  
• however, i AM willing to do silly shit to get a good picture. i found myself sitting on train tracks, walking through dry brush, weeds, dirt, avoiding poop (all while wearing open-toed shoes, mind you), climbing up onto a filthy horse trailer...you'll understand when you see the photos. trust me.
• the hub and i laugh a lot. A LOT.
• i'm more open to cheesiness than i ever realized. i decided to use this as a prop in a couple of shots to possibly create shower thank-you cards with (the photo booth program on my iMac somehow flips the text, but you get it). heh.
  

crissy is a DOLL. i absolutely love her. she's so cute and friendly, and you just can't help but laugh when you're with her! there's nothing like working with someone who so obviously loves what they do, which makes them damn good at it. i canNOT wait to see the finished product!

there's NEVER ENOUGH TIME!

i've been WAITING for an opportunity to throw the jessie spano freak-out in a post!!

mmkay, here's a tip for those of you who plan on producing offspring someday: DON'T assume, even though pregnancy technically lasts ten months, that you have a ton of time to get stuff accomplished. somehow i managed to put off signing up for any childbirth preparation classes, and all of a sudden we've got 8 weeks left and most of the courses last for 4-6 weeks. heh. i managed to find a weekend crasher course at a local hospital, though. phew. two sundays in a row, from 9 to 3. don't you wish you could come?

i've also been helping the MIL find a nice venue for the baby shower she's throwing for me. i know, i know, i shouldn't be involved (much) in planning such an event, but poor thing - she's stuck babysitting two kids all summer AND she lives out in BFE. i was going a little nuts yesterday trying to find a great place that would accommodate the guest list, serve afternoon tea, and be available for the date and time we're eyeing. again, 8 weeks left. we don't have a huge window of opportunity here, unless i want to risk not being able to attend my own shower (like my friend of ourjbaby, for whom we threw a shower while she sat in the hospital sweating out preterm contractions). but i think i finally hit the jackpot - the lovely altadena town & country club. the hub and i had strongly considered this place for our wedding, so i guess you could say it has meaning behind it, if you're looking for some.

i just got back from treating myself to a lovely signature mani/pedi at my favorite nail joint, urbane beauty care and a quick trip to the mall to find a couple of tops to rock in my maternity shoot tomorrow with crissy. i'm totally excited and nervous at the same time - will my house make a lame ass setting? will i get the dreaded tori spelling pregnant face in the next 24 hours? am i going to be able to make myself look decent doing my own hair and makeup, or will i look like ass? answers to these burning questions and more, coming soon.

and, while at the mall, i stopped at cathy jean (which is a shop i NEVER find anything at, but somehow always manage to find myself in) to see if i could find something to go with my fabuloso ABS dress for saturday. i was truly amazed to find a pair that i actually liked, wouldn't break the bank, and aren't too high that i'll break my neck getting out of the car. i got these, in gold!

my dear mollydog has also gotten much, much better. thanks for everyone's healthy vibes and good wishes! i spent a solid, frustrating half hour with her yesterday trying to get her to take her pills. i'd hold her, blow her kisses, pry open her mouth and stuff a pill down. then i'd slam her jaw shut (okay, that sounds violent as hell) and hold it till i felt her swallow. but of course, the little shit (who always chooses the most inconvenient times to be smart) would look at me, smack her lips and out would pop the half-chewed pill. we must've repeated this exercise about 20 times before i finally got both pills down her gullet. this morning, i smashed the pills and mixed them in with her peanut butter doggy treat stuff and stuck it on the roof of her mouth. haha! who's smart NOW, huh? huh?? WOOF!

sushi, poo, a movie, and shopping.

and not necessarily in that order.

so it was quite the weekend. luckily, after all the troubles of friday, things definitely took an upward turn!

when the hub got home, he took some time to give molly some lovin', because she was just so sad and mopey. poor thing. and then we decided we'd try to catch the next showing of the bourne ultimatum at our local theater. it's located in an "old town" section that does a weekly street fair, so we figured we could grab some grub and head in to the movie. but here's what always happens to us - after we found parking and something for dinner, we were smack dab in between showings. it was another hour till the next show, so we decided to grab a drink at coffee bean and call it a night.

saturday, i woke up to check on the dog and found that she was still spewing poo. boo. and she wasn't touching any of the water! i guess she could smell the unflavored pedialyte (ew) i'd added in, per the vet's instructions. he called me later and gave me the good news that whatever she'd managed to eat hadn't caused any permanent damage, but that there were elevated toxins in her kidneys that needed to be flushed out. so i put out a dish of regular old water (because something's better than nothing, right?) and she lapped happily and
peed soon after. she's also digging the boiled chicken and rice diet she's on. ha - she's getting homecooked meals. that's better than what the hub's been getting lately. although we did have dinner with his folks that evening at the union cattle company in old town pasadena. yummy.

the next morning, we hit up the 11:00 church service (that's late, but it was hell trying to get the hub out of bed that day) and then headed back out towards pasadena to find some food (it seems like we're ALWAYS looking for a meal, huh?). we ended up at sushi roku and had some fabulous chilean sea bass, asparagus tempura, popcorn rock shrimp tempura, plus plenty of bigeye sushi for the hub. so scrumptious.

on the way back out to colorado, i spied a fabulous grecian-style dress in the ABS store window. with the toga party coming up this weekend, i jokingly pointed at it and said "hey, i just found my outfit for saturday!" hub took one look and said "let's go in!" as soon as i picked my jaw up off the floor, i followed him inside.

although the dress that caught my eye wasn't going to work (not to mention that the price tag started with a 5 - um, no), i DID walk out with a dress that i absolutely love:

i'm so gonna rock this thing with some gold sandals and accessories. and i'm excited that i'll be able to wear it after the baby's born, too. it's not quite a toga, but it's as close as i'm gonna get.

i made one more stop in pasadena (paper source, because i hadn't been there in, oh, two days or so) before we decided to drive by the house we're moving into in a few weeks and see if it'd been painted yet. the rest of the day saw us finally get to see jason bourne in action, and then i actually got the hub to go with me to the gym. it was comical - we did about 40 minutes of cardio, and as we headed home i said "now see, don't you feel great?" and he looked at me, sweat dripping from his brow, and said "i think i'm going to throw up." bwahahahahaha! WUSS!!

and this morning, i went in for my doctor's appointment. i'm 32 weeks along now, and i've gained 18 pounds thus far. so, so creepy. it's all good though - she said that the baby's measuring perfectly, and she even snuck in a portable ultrasound machine to take a peek. technically, we're not supposed to get any more ultrasounds unless there are medical issues (which i'm happy to NOT have), so it was really nice of her to do that for us. we also got to hear the bean's heartbeat, during which she pummeled the crap out of my insides. ha! and we signed up for a shitload of prebirth classes, including a breastfeeding course that the hub is THRILLED to be attending.

"why do i have to be there? i can't do any of it."
"well, i'm going to be there, so you will, too."
"i hope there are going to be live demos by some hot chicks."

just put it in your blackberry, honey, and don't schedule any "meetings", mmkay?