wan-na find something?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

daughters, be good to your mother

my daughters are growing up fast. too damn fast.

i spent a good chunk of the afternoon at the high school, taking care of the teen's registration, picking up her schedule, scooping up her textbooks, buying her ASB card and P.E. uniform, all that jazz. she's off with BFF and her family at the beach for the week and the first day of school is next week.

her first day as a freshman. in HIGH SCHOOL. holy shit. really?? seems like just yesterday i was taking her to her first day of kindergarten. damn.

and then there's the bean, who's learning new words and becoming more and more of a little girl vs. a toddler every day. if we say "i love you," she smiles and says "too!" she can count from one to ten. the little shape toys (circle, square, rectangle, star, etc.) are easily dropped into their corresponding holes with her little fingers. she dances around, wiggling her hips and doing the white-man pointing.

i've also gotta remember to watch what i say these days, because she's a little echo. we were watching "blue's clues," and joe said "where do we put the toys?" i muttered under my breath "up your butt," and then i heard a little voice say "butt!" i looked over and the bean was grinning at me and pointing to her tushie. i was watching the news during a particularly effed-up story, remarked "oh, that sucks," and sure enough, that little voice piped up: "sucks!"


so i'm working on the bean's 2-year photo album, and it's so much fun coming across all these pictures of my two girls. i love a good trip down memory lane, which of course always leads to some serious reminiscing.

i thought of how anti-baby the teen had been, back in the day. and i couldn't blame her - she'd been the cherished only child for elevenish years, with all of our attention focused on her. sometimes this worked in her favor, sometimes not so much. heh. and she spent the majority of my pregnancy torn between concern for my well-being and probably worrying that she'd fall down a notch or two once the bean was born (which, of course, would never happen no matter what). and even after the blessed event occurred, she was still a little
blasé about the whole thing. it took her a little while to warm up to the squirmy little being that was her baby sister. but as i predicted, before long, she was in love with her just as much as the hub and i were.

and as the bean got bigger, more mobile, and more fun to play with, her bond with her sister got stronger and stronger. hell, i'm pretty sure that when that every other friday rolls around these days, the teen is more excited to see the bean than anyone else. but you know what? that's pretty awesome.

i had a minor panic attack a few weeks ago, as i thought about the relationship i enjoy with the teen. because when the bean is the same age the teen is now, i'm going to be as old as MIL is now.

that's fucking creepy, yo.

how on earth am i going to keep up with a 14-year-old when i'm FIFTY?? it makes me want to cry or puke or something just thinking about it. i'm so not gonna be cool. and the poor bean is gonna have an old ass mom! ack! her friends are totally going to make fun of her. dang.

thank god she'll have a sister who'll take her to concerts (i wonder who the bean's jonas brothers will be?) and go shopping and do fun stuff with. someone who won't be all crotchety and wear bifocals and support hose and keep her teeth in a glass on the bedside table.

i have such high hopes for my girls. i hope they're blessed with lives as full and wonderful (and even more so) than my own, and i pray to all that is holy that it comes to them in a much easier way than it did for me. of course, the twists and turns and mistakes and difficult choices i've faced in my years have only served to make me who i am today, and i do love me a lot. i just hope they don't have to go through as much shit as i did to get to the good stuff.

in the two short years that they've been together, they've already built up a whole lotta love that i know will carry them through the rest of their lives. and they're certainly no slouch at sharing that love with the rest of us. life is so much fun with these beautiful, awesome little ladies, and every day is such a gift.

i am one lucky mom.


  1. 50 is NOT that old! I know lots of hot and hip mamas in their 50's. You'll be like that dancing machine at the teen choice awards. Rockin out at 60! haha!

    You have 2 beautiful ladies who love their mom and I don't see dentures OR bifocals in your future. This was a great post and made me a little teary eyed!

  2. You're lucky to have them and they're lucky to have you!

    And I agree - 50 isn't that old! 50 is the new 40, ya know? :)

  3. When I was 14 I had a 50 year old mom. No biggie.

  4. You need to make more friends in the legal, medical, banking, etc. worlds. All moms are old. It's the only way to do it.

  5. Lovely girls.
    Lovely photos.
    Lovely post.

    And since you look a decade younger than you are, trust me, NO ONE is going to you're a crotchety mom. And I'll bet right now that it won't just be the Teen taking the Bean to concerts. No doubt in my mind that you'll be right beside them.

  6. Above comment should say:
    "NO ONE is going to think you're a crotchety mom."

    It's worth repeating.

  7. This post totally made me tear up. My brother and I are 11 years (and 10 months) apart. He's 15 now and my "old" mom will be 50 this October. She's still cool I promise. No worries.

    The biggest struggle in my brother and I's relationship is the fact I am not there. I went away to college and stayed "away" (two hours). He's told me sometimes when we don't get along it's because he misses me so much... but the fact that my 15 year old "little" brother can tell me this means he really does, in his teenage boy heart, love me.

    Awwww... Wan, I adore you, the teen, the bean and all your fun stories.


  8. Come on now! You are SO still going to be a cool mom when you're 50! My mom is actually much cooler now than when she was in her thirties. Maybe that has something to do with she doesn't have 5 kids still living with her.

  9. I was all teary when I clicked to post a comment, and I was going to say something all sticky sweet. And then I read WM's comment and laughed out loud. Oh brother I love this post so much. Makes me miss my mom though. And my favorite picture of the bunch is the one where Teen is riding on Bean's back. Lmao.

  10. TEARS!! TEARS!!!

    You're an awesome mom J.

  11. awww.

    and what monkey said. my mom wasn't even in any of those fields (but was in school forever getting multiple masters, and doctorates...the nerd :)) and she was 50 when my brother was 14. she was still pretty cool and really was not crotchety at all. she said having kids late actually kept her younger longer, and in her case, i agree.

    at the rate we're going, the bear and i will be much older parents than you guys are IF we're even blessed to be able to conceive at that point.

  12. Reading this post makes me wish that I had taken more pictures of stuff. I need to get over my picture hating ways. Such sweet girls!

  13. You'll still be a cool mom at 50.

    FWIW, my mom was 56 when I was 14 and my friends never made fun of her. :)

  14. You are a wonderful mama and both your girls are blessed to have you!! EVEN at 50 :)

  15. Sentimental and hilarious at the same time! How do you do it? You make me laugh so hard!

  16. Aww, now I really, really want more kids. Your girls are absolutely precious.

  17. very cute post. you have a good way with words. what adorable girls you have.

  18. Hi Wan,
    So of course I got teary eyed. Your sweet post had me thinking about how similar your girls are to me and my sister who is 11 years younger than me. I was the teen and she was the bean and our relationship is awesome-so no doubt their will be to. Of course we learned to love each other from our dearest Mom who by the way got cooler and cooler as we all got older. You would be the coolest Mom at 50-no doubt about it...thats my 2 cents. -Mae

  19. that totally made me cry..i'm such a baby. your girls are great and they are lucky to have you as their mom.

  20. beautiful post! **off to cry now**

  21. Dude, trust me, there is no such thing as an old mom anymore! Come at pickup time at my school!

  22. You look far younger than your age, so you're totally going to be ok even when the Bean gets to high school :) Love the pictures. Such a sweet post.

  23. This post seriously touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I can only hope to have as good of a relationship with Anak as you do with the teen. So awesome.

  24. <3

    Ditto the other girls about 50 not being old. My mom was 46 when I was 14 and my friends adored her.

  25. I love your blog! I just wanted to let you know =) Your daughters are both so beautiful!


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