Monday, August 11, 2008

if you're a boy, proceed with caution

i'm about to talk about girly shit, so i figured i'd warn you lest i should offend your delicate sensibilities.

really, it's a topic that usually strikes fear in most males' hearts and minds.

it's one of the most magical, fabulous things about pregnancy and nursing.

okay, i've done my job. if you're a boy and you get all heebie-jeebie'd out, it'll only be because you couldn't stop reading.

I'M SO STINKING BUMMED OUT. i woke up yesterday to find that that dreaded female monthly curse had finally re-entered my life.

i've managed to save gobs and gobs of cash on feminine products (which of course meant that i spent it on other fun stuff instead), and now it's over. i walked into the teen's room yesterday and told her "okay, you're allowed to laugh at me now. because guess what finally came this morning?"

that little heffa didn't just laugh, she pointed and cackled. CACKLED!

and here's where i'll lose sympathy from the rest of you: i haven't had to deal with this shit since christmas eve, 2006.

ugh. ugh! sometimes, i hate being a girl. i'd forgotten how much this sucks ass. stupid "aunty flo." i hate you, you evil bitch.

18 comments:

  1. A crazy lady I used to work with said that "the return" is your body saying that it's ready to reproduce again. Hey, at least you weren't in Hawaii :/

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  2. But in 20 years or so, you'll be like, "WTF? Where did it go? I'm old!"

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  3. but dude, you had almost 2 YEARS without it! jealousE

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  4. The fact that you've avoided it for this long is reason to be proud. Seriously, two years!

    Still sucks, I know.

    There is something you could do, ya know...

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  5. After a two year vacation, it's hard for me to have sympathy for you.

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  6. what jane said. and what weemo said.

    let's just say that making mine less painful/less long has made my life way more better. i can't imagine the bliss without it, period. pun not intended.

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  7. 2 years?!? Holy moly. Now THAT'S a vacation.

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  8. I'm right there with you...fuckityfuckfuck...I will cross my fingers that it does not come back with a vengance like mine did (giving auntie flow the finger right now)!! Call me and we can just swear at each other on the phone if that will make you feel better :)

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  9. i can't imagine how much money i'd have with two years off from aunt flow... i hope you bought really cool stuff with it! :)

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  10. hmmm...recent vacation to HI, cute outfits purchased, consuming massive amounts of pinkberry. yeah, not really feeling so sorry for ya. ;)

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  11. Are we supposed to be feeling bad for you?

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  12. Booo!

    Says the woman who is currently enjoying not having a period and hopefully joining the Wan Camp in not having one for nearly two years! ;)

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  13. I don't see why I should feel sorry for you.

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  14. You know every month I wonder whether it's really worth it to give up, given the pain of pregnancy and childbirth. I imagine that's way worse than my ovulation/first day cramping.

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  15. ugh!! so sorry to hear that!!! my friend recently just told me that she got hers too and she has a 13 month old. I really thought you get right away, but I guess the nursing part stops it from coming.

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  16. OK, who did you sell your soul to so you could go flow free for a year and eight months?

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  17. Oh no! While I always liked the stability of knowing when she's coming, I'd do just about anything to keep her away. I think she arrived for me when Lila was around 9 or 10 months old, and I wasn't finished breast feeding, so it was extra disappointing, as I wasn't expecting her back until I was finished. Oh well.

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