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Friday, December 12, 2008

laughing my ass off on a trip down memory lane

what kind of ridiculously silly stuff did you do in the name of love, back in the day?

reconnecting with an old friend via facebook has brought back some spectacularly awesome memories of something that i did back in the 7th grade, and it's just such a classic wan [bonehead] move. observe:

it actually begins in the 5th grade, when i met the uber cool and super cute big man on campus. he wore all the right clothes, was friends with all the right peeps, played all the sports, and had a gorgeous smile. and i was lucky enough to be seated right in front of him, where i spent most days obsessing over how my hair looked from the back and brainstorming furiously on clever things to say whenever i had to turn around to pass paperwork back. BMOC, even as he was the grooviest dude around, was always super nice and friendly with everyone, including me. i fell in love instantly (and set the precedent for my future love life, during which i was always attracted to the pretty boys, heh).

but i was in that awkward stage, which for me lasted all the way through freaking high school. i wasn't cute by any means, and i was one of those "floaters" - you know, the kind of kid who pretty much got along with everyone but mostly faded into the background. folks knew who i was, but i didn't stand out for any particular reason. i longed to be one of the pretty girls, in their OG nikes, jordache jeans and izod polo shirts. of course, it was not to be.

my love remained unrequited, as i watched BMOC chat and smile charmingly at all the blond, blue-eyed heffas in our class. and i just stayed on the sidelines and did my own thing.

then, when i was in the 7th grade, my aunt florida was a senior in high school. it was 1984, the era of madonna and michael jackson and lionel richie, and one of our favorite songs and music videos was "hello." you know:

is it me you're looking for?
i can see it in your eyes
i can see it in your smile
you're all i've ever wanted
and my arms are open wide
because you know just what to say
and you know just what to do
andi want to tell you so much
i love you

she had her eye on a really cute boy at school herself, and somehow we got the bright idea to write out the lyrics to the entire song on a plain sheet of paper, stick it in a plain white envelope, and mail it "anonymously" to the boys we loved.

OMG, i'm crying laughing right now just thinking about it.

anyway, it would've been just fine and probably would have gone largely unnoticed (as it did for florida), except for one small detail. i, being the lamest human being on the face of the planet, had dutifully written my return address on the envelope.

that shit spread around school like wildfire. i was mortified, and bitch ass punks would follow me around at lunchtime, singing that damn song at the top of their bitch ass lungs.

as is typical, the incident was forgotten within a couple of weeks when something else happened to catch everyone's attention. and lucky for me, i had nothing to do with any more traumatizing drama for the rest of the school year.

oh, wait - i did rip a really good one in class that year. i don't remember if it was before or after the "hello" debacle, though. bahahahahaha!

man, i wish i had some pictures of me back then to post. i'll have to look around and see what i can find. they might just be even more spectacular than this particular memory.

and yes, that's totally possible.


  1. I have embarrassing high school stories - but yours takes the cake!

  2. Hahahahhaa you just made my day.

    I didn't get out of my awkward stage til I was 22 or 23. Saaaaaad.

  3. Ha! I was totally a floater too. That is cringingly awful. I love that you did that though. So awesome.

  4. "that shit spread around school like wildfire...and bitch ass punks would follow me...singing that damn song at the top of their bitch ass lungs."

    this is one of the funniest things i've ever read. thanks for sharing. :-)

  5. I just laughed out loud in my office. So glad my boss isn't here right now!

  6. ok, first, i got super embarrassed for you, thinking of that time in your life. then i laughed my ASS off. so funny. so, so, so funny. i'm still laughing.

  7. but you were a cheerleader.

    i forgot to write that i greatly dislike brad pitt in my comment regarding your last post. blech. you can have all of him.

  8. That is some funny, funny shit. Mortifying at the time, but funny as hell now. I can't even imagine. Did BMOC say anything to you about it?

    Still chuckling.

  9. Best.Story.Ever.

    Seriously, I'm totally lmao right now!

  10. i love stories like this. man o man, what young love will make you do....


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happy birthday today to this guy: hopefully he won't kill me for any of those pictures.  ah well...happy birthday to the love of my life!