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Friday, September 17, 2010

old ass mofo

so i still remember how i felt ten years ago, when i turned 29 and was facing the end of my twenties.  i'd heard that for some folks, it was harder than the actual milestone birthday - and they were totally right.  i was super sad that i was getting OLD.  heh.

so fast-forward to today, and i'm staring 40 right in the face.  holy shit.  where did the last decade go?

oh, yeah.  i got married, had a baby, bought a house.  whee!

but i have to admit, i'm kinda really freaked out about this next stage of my life.  aside from the awesome stuff i just mentioned, what the hell else have i done with myself?  i'm kind of a loser.  dudes, i'm thirty-nine years old and i sell cupcakes for a living.  really?  somehow, i always thought i'd be such a rock star when i grew up.  but don't get me wrong - i truly enjoy my job.  it's super fun and i have a great time every day - my boss is fantastic, all of my co-workers are awesome, and duh - i'm surrounded by cupcakes.  it's a sweet job (hardy har har).  but still...i guess i thought i'd have a "real" career at this stage of my life.

i suppose that turning a corner into another decade will always make me stop and reflect back on my life thus far (ohmygodthenexttimeidothisillbealmostFIFTYholyshit).  everyone does that, right?  and somehow, we focus on the bad shit before we can reel it in and remember how good we actually have it.  i'm allowed to wallow a little, as long as i go back to my normal, optimistic, happy self.

so i'm determined to make the next year a really fabulous one.  i don't know what that means yet, but i'm sure gonna find out.  and i've already taken the first step - the teen and i have decided to train and run the disneyland half marathon.  it's next september, just days before i turn the big four-oh.  that should be a good amount of time for us to build up our endurance, maybe run some 5K or 10K races in the meantime too.  it'd be great to start the next decade in the best shape of my life, yeah?

and while cleaning out some boxes in the garage, i came across some really fun old photos of myself.  well, i guess they are, if fun = horrifically embarrassing and humiliating.  ha!  and because my scanner isn't working properly, i went all ga-hetto and took pictures of them to share with you.  check this out.

the early years:

the beginning of that awful, awkward stage:

my cousin seven will appreciate this one:

high school.  that's right (look at my pretty mommy!).

posing on the hood of my boyfriend's car.  we used to stuff half of the varsity cheer squad in the back seat of this thing.  do you love the big ass 80's hair and hi-top, velcro'ed reeboks? 

 one of my very first office jobs.  i was all of about 18 here.

hawt, yes?  i know.  i KNOW.

who took glamour shots?  i know some of you fools have photos like this somewhere in your archives.

i'm cringing just looking at that.  and here, a portrait i was going to use on my wedding planning business cards:

you'd have hired me to coordinate your wedding, wouldn't you?  i would totally hire me.  who wouldn't want those bangs present on their special day?  she bangs.  she bangs!

proud mama bear.  yes, that's the teen. 

four generations!

okay, that's quite enough.  i'm going to go cry now.  i was a lot cuter (and skinnier) ten years ago.  dang.

just kidding.  i'm too excited about being birthday princess tomorrow to let that shit get me down for too long.  woohoo!

p.s. happy birthday, little sister.  i still think about you and wonder what life would've been like with you around.  you'd have been getting pretty damn old by now too, had you lived.  love you!


  1. Happy birthday gorgeous! I love the pics and can honestly say you still look like you are in your 20s. Enjoy your partay!

  2. Muwahahahah! god you're old, but I love you anyway :) Hope you have super fantastic day! Love the picture of the 4 generations...Love your grandma, and when she hung up on me because I talked too fast, Ha!

  3. You are (and were) too cute. Happy almost birthday beautiful!

  4. That glamour shot just made my life. Do you know they *still* do those? I just Googled it!

    You are the youngest looking almost 39 year old that I've ever seen! You and the teen look like sisters both then and now! Rock on mama!

  5. Dude you're pretty much the hottest & funnest almost 40 year old I know.

    Don't wallow too much ok?
    You are a true example for the rest of us. You have a world filled with love, fun & laughter. You are SO blessed!

    Think about it- in another 40-50 years when you're on your death bed are you going to regret not having a "career" or will you be SO thankful that you did something you loved and allowed you time and flexibility to be with the Bean and your family?

    That being said- if you need a buddy for those 5Ks, 10s and that half holler ok?

  6. You got me teary-eyed!
    Happy birthday again!
    Love you a lot.

  7. Happy Birthday to your almost 40ish fun loving self! Your "career" is being the best Mom, Wife & friend to us all! Glamour shots were the best!

  8. Oh my GAWD. That glamour shot. I die.

    I know women in their late 30s and early 40s who have impressive careers, but have no time for family or developing meaningful relationships with their kids. I think on that front, you're pretty damn successful. You're like the CEO of Awesome Mamas Inc.

    Happy Birthday!

  9. I went through some old photos too over the weekend. Horrid, horrid stuff. Why did we have to grow up in the 80s?

  10. That glamour shot is HAWT!

    Girl, you don't look a year over 25. Happy Birthday!

  11. aw, I love the photo recap! happy belated birthday!!

  12. that photo recap made my night, particularly the glamor shot :)

  13. Life is about the journey my love - enjoy the ride. You have accomplished so much and overcome so much and that is what makes you the loving and lovely person you are. Age ain't nothin' but a number - take it from your quirky 55-year-old friend. Love you and sending you hugs!

  14. cousin! I'm so sad you didn't get my text, but you know I loves you. I can't wait to see you soon. AND...the Disneyland Half Marathon has me intrigued. Can I join you guys? :D I will probably ask you this again. LOVE YOU AND HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!

  15. That glamour shot kills me. We don't live to work, but live to enjoy life. (I sound like an effin' fortune cookie.) I think you've got so much more than most people at your age! Not to mention, you totally look like you're still 25. I hate you.


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