Thursday, April 16, 2009

say "nope" to dope and "ugh" to drugs

today, the bean had her 18-month check-up. i simultaneously look forward to and dread these at the same time - because it's always fun to see where she falls on the charts height/weight/head circumference-wise, but doctor's appointments always mean that she's going to get poked with a needle at least once.

you already know
what a wuss i am about these things, time and time again. oy vey.

we arrived a few minutes early, giving the bean some time to play with the toys that kaiser so thoughtfully provides in the waiting area.



i had just enough time to complete the questionnaire, which asked stuff like "can your child say 7-10 words?" "can your child point to at least 3 body parts?" and the ever-popular "are there guns in your home?" heh.



after we stripped her down to just her diaper, the nurse got right to work. and it seemed that the bean remembered this place and the fact that this woman was the one who poked her three separate times with a needle the last time, because she started whimpering and started to cry as soon as the nurse started measuring her head. the hub and i felt awful. i mean, just look at the glare she's giving this nurse!



she measured how tall the bean is, and then we whipped that diaper off and sat her on the scale to see how much she weighs. of course, i've covered up her little baby lumps. this ain't no peepshow, folks.



then she left and we did our best to entertain as we waited for the doctor to arrive.



she took an important phone call:

"yeah, i'm getting measured and crap. it sucks."



"they did
WHAT to you? ahahahaha! that blows, dude."



she cried some more when the doc came in to check her out, but it was a good visit. we learned that she only needed one shot this time, and were appalled when we were told that between the ages of 1 and 2, they check for anemia - and have to do a blood draw.


"they just prick her finger for the blood?" the hub asked hopefully.

"no, they have to draw from the vein," the doctor said.

the hub and i exchanged startled glances and didn't even need to consult with each other before deciding to defer till the next appointment. are you effing kidding me right now? they have to
find a freaking vein and draw a vial of blood? that's a negative, ghostrider. eff that noise. nuh-uh, no way, no how. you can bite me, dude, you're not torturing my poor child like that. at least, not today.

we discussed nutrition and the bean's eating habits, and i got congratulated for nursing as long as we have. then we were grossed out as the doc told us that her father's little brother was on the boob till he was
9. NINE YEARS OLD! eww!

i needed to take care of something else while we were there, so as the hub and the bean waited for the nurse to return with the vaccination, i tiptoed out and took care o'bidness.

yes, i am a mega super spectacular chicken shit. i'm okay with that. this is why i always make sure to schedule doctor's appointments around the hub's meetings and stuff. yup.

so, the stats:
head circumference (actually, the nurse screwed this up a bit. after the doc noted that this was quite a bit above average, she re-measured and found that the bean's head is 18.5 inches around). still up there, though - 61% compared to other kids her age.



height and weight - 83% and 57%, respectively.



she's a healthy one, my little bean.


after we bid goodbye to the hub, who took off for work right after the appointment, i decided to head over to our local library. i'd learned that they do storytime for toddlers on thursday mornings, and i thought it would be something fun to do. plus, it's free! bonus.


we made our way to the children's room, where toys, books, and puzzles were already spread out and being played with by a bunch of toddlers.


when we sat down for storytime, i was happy to note that the first book to be read was one of the bean's most favoritest books
ever.

we both know this one by heart, and she sat quietly in my lap and made the animal noises as the book was read aloud. it was a really fun little session, with lots of songs and hand gestures and dancing, but with her recent trauma at the doctor's office, plus her sore little leg from that awful needle, and the dose of tylenol we'd given her before the appointment, the bean wasn't into it. so i picked her up and we got outta there and headed home.

i can't wait for next thursday, though. it'll be much more fun, when she can really get into it and play and clap and dance. you know, when she isn't all doped up on drugs.

11 comments:

  1. The cell phone thing KILLED me. It was like Look Who's Talking. Haha.

    Hope she's feeling better soon.

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  2. That's one of Em's favorite books, too! We have a whole bunch in that series that we read to her.

    And that orange animal in the library reminds me of the new Weight Watchers mascot.

    Glad to hear that the Bean is doing so well! She's so super cute, just like her mommma!

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  3. Glad to hear the bean's so healthy! I totally agree with you on holding off on drawing blood. That sounds ghastly!!

    We have Sandra Boynton books too! Though Maya thinks they're edible.. whenever I try and read one to her she grabs the book and starts gnawing on it...

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  4. Oh I forgot to warn you about the blood draw...it is the biggest pain in the ass that ever was especially if you have a nurse that can't find a vein!! OMG!

    Yay for Sandra Boynton...I can recite The Belly Button Book :)

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  5. The cell phone pics are cracking me up!

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  6. I don't like it when they draw blood from my veins, how the eff am I going to deal with it when it comes to my child?

    I'm screwed.

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  7. Am I the only one who's never heard of this book???

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  8. I just realized what you wrote for the title of this post... :)

    one word...DORK!

    That is all

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  9. I have to admit I am disturbed at the thought of them having to draw from a vein in poor Bean. And even more disturbed about being on the boob until 9. Holey crap.

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  10. I want to sit on a floor and have someone read to me every Thursday morning. Lucky Bean.

    ReplyDelete

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