so this chris brown/rihanna scandal sparked some interesting conversation over the last few days.
when we heard about it over the weekend, the teen said "what the heck did rihanna DO that got her beat up?"
and i was alarmed. i couldn't believe that the first thing that came to her mind was that it was the victim's fault. i told her so, and added that it's never okay for a man to raise his hand to a woman, especially in anger.
she said "yeah, i know, i don't know what i was thinking when i said that." but it still bothered me. and yesterday, as we watched another story about the incident on tv, she pulled out her copy of "seventeen" magazine that talked about red flags in relationships. it was a list of things designed to teach teenage girls to recognize any warning signs with their boyfriends, like if he insults you, or tries to control you, or ever slaps/hits/pushes you. it made me kind of sad that the magazine i remembered from my own teenage years now had to include articles like this. it's good to make teens aware of that kind of stuff, but still sad, you know?
and then it turned into a totally different discussion - and i'm not entirely sure that i did the right thing.
i told her about the instances of abuse (not sexual or anything like that, but shoving and smacking and that kind of thing) i endured with her father, many many moons ago.
i could see that she was shocked - and rightly so. i immediately regretted it, and i told her so. she and i have a really great, open relationship. we can tell each other pretty much anything, and often do. but i wonder if i crossed the line with this particular revelation. i know she won't ever say anything to him about it, and she said that she was really surprised because he didn't seem to have a temper these days. i told her that the moment any boy pulls any shit like that with her, to walk away and never look back, and reminded her that she could come to me with anything, anytime, no matter what. i also said that i really should have practiced what i was preaching, but that i couldn't regret it because i wouldn't have her if i'd left. and now that whole conversation is really weighing on my mind.
did i fuck up?