apparently, that is me. oh, yes. read on:
i guess it doesn't help much that i had KFC for lunch. heh. i went for the mashed potato bowl - something i'd never tried before, but let's take a look, shall we?
mashed potatoes - good.
corn - good.
gravy - good.
popcorn chicken - GOOD!
cheese - GOOD!
really, what could be wrong with all that goodness, layered in that order, and in such a nice, convenient bowl? but here's the kicker: the dude at the drive-thru (yup, that's right. i didn't even haul my ass outta the car for this gastronomical gut bomb) offered me a double-chocolate cake for $1.99.
not just a slice, folks. an ENTIRE cake. for under $2. holy shit. no wonder we're all fat. it's seriously just. too. easy.
so anyway, the session with the personal trainer was wack, yo. he had us fill out a lame questionnaire about our physical goals, the last time we were at our ideal physical shape (um, never), blah, blabbity blah. and he was so full of himself - it was nothing but "when i was body building" this and "while i was a full-time trainer" that. non-fucking-stop. and then he busted out this stupid body fat measuring tool that i think is totally bogus.
and that's NOT just because it said i'm at 26.9% body fat. i swear!
even the kid measured at over 22%. that's such total and complete bullshit.
when i was telling the hub about it later on, it occurred to me that maybe those little devices are rigged. because every gym offers a free session with a personal trainer when you join, and every trainer hands this thing to you during your "evaluation." you are then surprised and shamed at the flabby state your body is apparently in, and this makes it easier for said trainer to swoop in with a pricing sheet and schedule.
after a 10-minute warm-up on the elliptical machine, he walked us around rather aimlessly through the free weights section before settling on the compound row machine. the kid went first, did a set of reps, and then we switched places. of course, he put extra weight on for me - even knowing that i hadn't touched weights in over a year. bastard. we did a few sets before moving over to the lat pulldown, and repeated the process.
the last thing he had us do was go over to the mats and do the "superman" - where you lay on your tummy, arms out in front of you, and pull up so that your arms and legs are stretched out and off the mat. we did this a few times before heading back to his desk and getting the sales pitch.
and when he said "so which one of these programs do you want to sign up for?" i looked at him sideways and said "i'm not prepared to sign up for anything right now, i'd like to discuss it with my husband first."
and that asshole said "oh. do you let him make ALL the decisions?" shee-it. he's lucky i didn't put a size 7 in the side of his big ol' head.
when i told the hub that fun little tidbit, he immediately wanted to know the dude's name. "what an asshole. i'll come down and give him a decision."
i was tempted to let him go off on mr. chumpy mcsucker, but i just signed up for my membership. and i'm sure i'll run into him now and then. i'd rather not have to endure any mad-dogging, you know?
and today, i'm sore as all hell. fuckin' A.